Released 5 days early for patrons.
(panel 1 - Title on a CDC infographic.) Re-re-Updated CDC Guidance (panel 2 - A sickly fast food service worker showing the "peace" sign.) A NEGATIVE test or POSITIVE vibes are required to return to work. (panel 3 - A patient handing a note to their doctor.) A boss's note can exempt you from a doctor's diagnosis. note, "If he can lean, he can clean." (panel 4 - A rossed out US History book and a virus.) In addition to racism, school boards can now pretend COVID doesn't exist. (panel 5 - CDC director Rochelle Walensky scribbling in a dictionary.) The definition of "MILD" has been expanded to include every symptom up to and including "DECEASED." (panel 6 - A stamped policy with Mad Lib style blank spaces.) If the science is bumming you out, defer to business interests instead. (Works for climate change, too!) CDC Libs (For CEOs Only!) (employee) can (verb) to (workplace) after (number) days of isolation. CDC Rubber Stamp, "APPROVED!"
Re-Re-Updated CDC Guidance

Jan 6, 2022

President Biden had his big July 4th "COVID's Over!" blowout and really can't be bothered with us plebes not wanting to get sick. That's why the policy's been "Let'r RIP!" since the Delta wave interrupted our summer fun. The economy is the only thing he has to crow about, so now essential employees are being shoved back to work while contagious and symptomatic.

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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 33 exclusive posts
36
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1
Writing