#76 Beware One warm and sunny summer day, my girlfriend Becky said, “Something is beckoning me to ride my cycle on a rough and rocky trail.” I almost laughed when I remembered a joke I’d heard as a kid. “The old lady who rode her bike over the rough cobblestone road said, ‘I’ll never come that way again.’” Instead of laughing I loaded our bikes, and we went to the Peavine Trail, an old railroad bed turned into a hiking/biking trail in Prescott AZ. Becky had never been there before. She stared at it for a few minutes. “The gods must have carved this trail from the rocks to entice us to continue on so we can witness what they have created in the middle of this rocky plain.” “There’s a lake along the way,” I said. “What a surprise,” Becky answered, “and look, the monoliths are pointing as if to say, ‘Venture a little further to see what we have in store for you.’” Mesmerized by nature’s magnificent creations, we obeyed and headed our bikes down the winding trail. A rattlesnake slithered in front of us. I imagined the creators of this astounding place wanted to show that they’d made living things too. Becky screamed and fell off her bike. “Good thing the rattler headed the other way,” I said, hopping off my bike to help her up. While I dusted Becky off, we saw long-legged birds hopping about on the water’s edge. Rabbits and lizards scurried by the trail. “This is a natural paradise,” Becky said. “It sure is, but see that sign?” I pointed. Hikers and joggers beware; mountain lions live here. “Oh-my-God,” Becky said, “do mountain lions eat people?” “Only the ones they catch,” I said laughing, “You do know that whoever created all this thinks of us only as meals on wheels.” “Funny.” Then she yelled. “Look, a mountain lion.” Becky pointed to the top of a high hill where a lion stood staring at us about a hundred yards away. She took off running. “No, no,” I yelled, “the worst thing you can do is to run.” She ignored me and kept on hightailing it down the trail, leaving me as lunch for the hungry lion. I took off after her, and as I ran, I looked over my shoulder. Sure enough, the lion was hot on our trail. I caught up to Becky. I swear to God, I don’t know what made me do it, but I reached out, grabbed her by the shoulder and shoved her behind me so the lion would get her and not me. I instantly felt guilty and spun around in time to see the lion leap into the air and knock Becky off of her feet. It went for her throat, but she had her arm in front. The lion took her arm in its mouth and tried to drag her off into the brush. I picked up a heavy rock and ran to where they were and bashed the rock onto the lion's head. He didn’t let go. I aimed for his eye and brought the rock down as hard as I could. The lion held on. Becky was bleeding and screaming that I was a coward, and she hoped the lion would eat me. She shut up, because if she didn’t, I’d have left her to be lunch. The lion's head must be made out of stone because as many times as I hit it, it didn’t seem to bother it. It slowly dragged Becky to the brush that surrounded the trail. I saw then that the lion is a male. I know the weak spot on males. It’s something I don’t want to do, but after what I did to Becky, I figure I better do it, or she’d tell everyone. Wait, I thought. If I let the lion eat her, no one will ever know. But my conscience wouldn’t allow me to abandon her. I reached between the lion’s hind legs, grabbed his testicles and twisted as hard as I could. It let go of Becky’s arm and yowled a painful cry and then took off running for the hills. “Let me see that arm,” I said, reaching for Becky. “I can’t believe what you did to me,” she said. The incredulous look on her face proved what she said was true. “I couldn’t help myself. Nature made me do it.” “Nature made you throw me to the lions?” She showed me her bloody arm. “Yeah, you know self-preservation.” “Yeah, I know. Self -preservation is the strongest instinct and sex is the second. Isn’t that right?” “Yeah,” I answered, hoping somehow I’d get some sex out of this. I mean, who knows? People get excited about the weirdest things. Maybe that lion chewing on her arm warmed her up. “Guess we’re safe now,” she said. “So do you want to have sex?” I didn’t have to answer. She saw the look on my face and said, “Take your pants off.” “Here?” “Now or never,” she said. I undid my belt and dropped my jeans. “All the way off.” I took off my boots so I could get the jeans off. She bent over and picked up my jeans and came very close. She put her hand on my leg and moved it slowly up to my crotch. “I saw how you got that mountain lion to turn me loose, so I’m going to do the same thing to you.” “Wha . . .” I screamed as she grabbed my balls and twisted so hard I would have fallen to my knees, except she held on and held me up while I screamed and howled louder than the mountain lion ever did. “Its nature making me do this,” Becky said and twisted harder. The end For more stories, poems, & other stuff. http://joedibuduo.com/ http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=joe+DiBuduo PLEASE SUBSCRIBE FOR$1. A MONTH TO ENABLE ME TO CONTINUE WRITING A STORY A DAY. IF I CONTINUE FOR A YEAR, I WILL WRITE 365 STORIES. You'll receive them all for $1. A month.