Flash Fiction #23
(Prompt from /r/WritingPrompts) [The genie doesn't give you what you say you want, he gives you what you really want.] "I'm confused," I said. The genie was just staring at me. He had these huge, bushy eyebrows, and his skin was crimson-red. He had his arm outstretched. "Just take it," he said. He didn't sound at all like Robin Williams. "Why?" I asked. "What about my wish?" "This is your wish. Take it." The thing he was offering me was a sliver plate with two slices of bread on it. Between the slices of bread, I could see a crispy leaf of lettuce, a melted slice of cheddar, a melted slice of swiss, some brownish-yellow goo that was probably mustard, some specks of what I could only assume was mayonnaise, and - was that sweet pickle relish? "I, uh," I said. "I don't see how this is my wish. I wished for world peace. This is a ham sandwich." "Hey," said the genie, "my job is to give you what you want. This is it." "It's not what I asked for. I'm pretty sure I'd rather have world peace." "I don't care what you asked for. I'm pretty sure that right now, you want a ham sandwich more than you want world peace. I mean, what, world peace? The heck does that even mean?" "It means no more war. Duh." "What about fighting? Does it mean no more fighting?" "Yeah, I guess so. That too." "Does it mean no more boxing or wrestling? No more anger? Can people shout at each other? Can they hurt their pets? Can animals hunt prey?" "Look," I said, "I don't know." "Then your wish is too ill-defined to grant anyway. Meanwhile, you're hungry. Here. Have a ham sandwich. It's delicious." "I'm a vegetarian," I said. "I've been vegetarian for five years." "So you haven't had a good ham sandwich in a while." "Yes, well, that's not the point." But I used to love ham sandwiches, and he was right - I really was hungry. "Would it make a difference," asked the genie, "if I pointed out that the ham was never actually part of an animal? No pigs died to make this sandwich." I hesitated. "Well..." I said. Actually, it made a huge difference. I sighed, and took it off the plate. It was delicious. "Okay," said the genie, "that's your first wish. What's the second?" "You tell me," I said, "since apparently, what I say doesn't matter." "Well," said the genie, uncomfortably, "what you really want right now is to know what your second wish will be." ---15 mins--- Flash Fiction Index: http://www.patreon.com/creation?hid=393711
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