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My friend the sexologist, author, and radio show host Dr. Chris Donaghue is back on AEWCH as part of my "The State Of" series of AEWCH in January! At the opening of 2019, I'm reviewing the state of something in 2019: what's on the scene now and what to look for in the coming year! I couldn't think of anyone better to discuss the State Of Sexuality 2019 than Dr. Chris Donaghue! The episode comes right on the heels of the release of Chris's new book Rebel Love: Break the Rules, Destroy Toxic Habits, and Have the Best Sex of Your Life which is the first good self help book on relationships to come out in...ever?
We talk about how academic jargon keeps people out of meaningful discussions, whether or not sexuality is political, the fourth wave of feminism and foursomes, looking back on sexual experiences with curiosity, how our identities intersect with our sexualities, how to talk about the political content of adult scenes without condemning the desires for it, desire shaming, why sex is everywhere and safe, why sex and porn addiction don't exist, the benefits and problems of "body positivity", the problems with "enthusiastic consent," how to heal sexual assault and end it culturally, and more!
• For more on Chris, you can always listen to his shows, Loveline, and The Amber Rose Show. Chris was on the show way back on AEWCH 10, and we had a great discussion then, too! Chris’s first book, Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture is great. He's so often asked to speak in pop culture terms that if you want to go really deep into his thinking, reading his work is really the best way to do it.
• Here's the article I mention, which I co-authored with Dr. Heather Berg, "The problem With Sex Work Is Work."
• Two things to read on sex and porn addiction: The Myth of Sex Addiction by Dr. David Ley, and "Is Sex Addiction Just An Excuse For Bad Behavior?"
• A lot of what I mention in this episode is contained in my essay, "A Culture That's Sick About Sex Will Never Be Able To Stop Harassment And Abuse"
• Peter Rollins and I talk a bit about the philosopher Slavoj Zizek on AEWCH 55. And Mona Eltahawy (pictured below) and I discuss having sex with someone of the gender you're not into on AEWCH 50!
• A great book on the ways sex always becomes a site of danger in our culture is Campus Security, Campus Sex by Jenny Doyle. And a great book on sex offender laws and why they don't help with the problem is Sex Offender Laws: Failed Policies, New Directions edited by Richard G Wright.
• The Emmanuel Lewis (Webster!) PSA that was on when I was a kid was extremely misguided. Here it is!
• A great essay on restorative justice and sexual assault, "PUNISHMENT IS NOT JUSTICE: DEFYING DEFINITIONS AFTER SEXUAL VIOLENCE" by Wendy C. Ortiz.
• And here's the essay on my assault, "If You Ever Did Write Anything About Me, I'd Want It To Be About Love"
Thanks for listening, folks!
Until next time.