Gonna be a heavy post this week, sorry. Dunno if it's the frustration of my PC still being down or what, but I've been feeling majorly burned out. There's a tl;dr at the bottom, and a fish pattern.
I'm still having trouble putting pdfs together without my PC, so the pattern just images for now. I'll go back and update them once my computer is working again.
I stitched this ages ago. It's based on the Animal Crossing coelacanth sprite. Enjoy! :)
Anyway... This will come as little surprise to those of you who have been around for a while now. But I am not a streamer anymore.
There was a time that Twitch took over my life. In a great way. I worked from home and would spend the day watching streams and chatting with people. Then spend the evening streaming and having a great time with you all.
I am where I am today thanks to Twitch. The friends I made, the connections, all of you keeping me afloat through financial strain, helping my mental health through our chats. I spent years constantly just looking forward to the next convention where I could hang out with my stream family. Without Twitch I never would have attended a gaming convention. Met so many awesome people. Gotten to beta test some amazing games. Got to write a cross stitch book. 5+ years of wonderful memories.
But it dawned on me recently that is no longer who I am. I'm coming up on my 6 year stream anniversary. But streaming is no longer my *identity*. This is not to say I will never stream again. I even tried to stream this weekend. However, my PC died at the beginning of the month and I couldn't get my external cap card to work on my laptop. I'll be back, but I certainly can't promise any sort of schedule going forward. Just random streams to relax.
Twitch no longer encompasses my life. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. I have other things to focus on now. A full time job I actually like. A relationship. A proper (rented) home to clean and decorate. Two dogs to feed.
I still rely a lot on the generosity of the internet. But not for playing a game and providing my own brand of commentary. For actually *creating* things. For art. For my expertise. And it has been so rewarding. Whether you buy my cross stitch patterns through Patreon or Etsy, or even if you just follow so you can see my art in your feed once in a while. You make me a better person.
I'm not entirely sure what I'm rambling about anymore. But I think the point of this is that I have spread myself too thin. There are too many things I *want* to do. I want to stream. I want to design more cross stitch patterns. I want to write more books. I want to play more video games. I want to spend more time with my boyfriend. I want to keep my home clean and decorate it for the holidays. I want to make YouTube tutorial videos. I want to have the energy to go to the doctor and figure out what is sapping all my energy to begin with. I want to learn crochet. I want to further my career in IT. I want to tend to my plants. I want to learn to quilt. To bake. Lots and lots of things.
And it turns out I can't *do* all of those things without driving myself into the ground. Hard. To the point of completely crashing and being incapable of doing *any* of those things.
So; long story short. I am no longer a streamer. I am a person who streams. And plays video games. And cross stitches. And admins a discord channel or two. But otherwise lives her life the best she can.
There is no stream schedule. There will be no 6 year anniversary stream on Nov 5th. But there will be the occasional streams whenever I feel like it and you can stop by or not.
I may not even cross stitch as much so I can try out some other crafts. I may not be able to provide the weekly cross stitch patterns my Patrons have enjoyed all year. Or be able to update my Etsy as often. But my primary focus needs to be self-care. If that comes at a decline to my income, so be it. I'll find a way to make it work.
I will still strive to make my Patreon still worth your investment. It may just be evolving. Behind the scenes on whatever other crafts I try. Failures and successes alike. Early access to any YouTube videos I make. Fresh pixel art. My backlog of untested patterns. Etc.
If you still want to support me in whatever journey I take next, know that I appreciate it more than I can possibly show.
You guys truly helped shape who I am today and I will be forever grateful, regardless what happens next.
tl;dr I need to refocus my priorities. So streams, cross stitch content, and patreon rewards may suffer for a while. I hope you understand.