So much of the dialgue out there in the CC-verse has been about the little limited human and the wise master and the dialgue between the two AND I think it is an amazing and necssary part/ experience of the realization experience, yet it has its limits. A shelf life if you will, as does everything.
A while back now, I felt my humanity weave itself into the Tapestry of Self.
That doesn't mean I am so done or graduated - I think that never happens and we are always in a state of perpetual becoming, yet soon it comes from an integrated space of human and divine combined, not human vs divine. And, the sensation of that is completely different.
What it did mean to weave my humanity into the fabric of me? It meant an end to the human/ master discussions and conversations that had been going on for years or probably lifetimes. Served so well...then nah....
Here's an example: I had something come up to 'integrate' recently that I am calling my angelic council part of myself.
Really it does not feel like an integration in the old sense, but expanding out, or expanding, to embody that part of myself. Something that shifted as the humanity became interwoven with the divinity within Self.
Angelic council lady was always in some sort of meeting "out there" - always concerned with the state of affiars, and her contributions to these councils, that shall remain un-named.
These council meetings were in my dreams and my waking life until I said, I'm just not interested in that anymore. No, thanks, feels old. Angelic council.....meh....
Then it naturally occured to allow this part in - but it felt different from as aspect integration - like the one where a peice of you comes into the oversoul that putting itself back together again.
Nope -- this time I expanded self out to include (not bring in) this "angelic council" part into embodiment. I was quite surprised when I realized 'angelic council facet' had never been embodied on Earth and had been in an angelic council meeting for the duration. No wonder she was ready to be done. Let's just relax on a beach now, please:)
In this expansion to bring in angelic council lady, there were many tears. It felt as if my I AM was crying, not my humanity, and at the same time completely enjoying NEW-ness within itself, here embodied for the first time on Earth - wow!.
Side note - with her here embodied on Earth for the first time, I have this wildly brilliant and fun childlike innocence - everything is just so freaking cool when I allow that experience to flow through. For example, oh, that's what a cookie tastes like?!
And, also coming up, some residual fears of losing myself entirely - only physically, not ceasing to exist entirely - came up too, but they flowed in gently and flowed back out gently because they had no place to land. Sand that slides through my fingers.
Another way to say it, I expanded so much I felt like I might cease to exist in physical form, and then I let go of the tie to physical form, and instead I became even more physically embodied - I love a good paradox!
YET, I want to tell you there was NO SUFFERING involved in it, only SENSUALITY.
It was such an amazingly sensual process to expand myself into bringing this amazing facet of myself into this physical form - With the tears and how deeply I sensed myself. So many layers and streams of consciousness flowing through my embodiment. Yowza!
I was both crying tears of all the old wounds - firmly knowing they were not mine anymore, but the sensuality of the tears of release - yessssss - AND the experience was completely orgasmic in knowing myself in an even deeper way. Embodying more of me. That is always the absolute best; it is the singular passion for living for me right now.
Who am I outside of past, present, and future? That is my Creation: ME!
Something stood out in all of it, too...There wasn't some "limited human" and "master" in a dialogue about what was going on. It was an explosion of Self, a grand display in the cosmos that make up the Universes of ME, and it was beyond beautiful, without time, and without the scale that gravity tends to provide us. It was completely natural, and because it was natural, it was without suffering.
Now that may piss some people off to say I no longer suffer and to say it out loud, too -- and then I am tempted to remind you of my intense suffering but that's so ridiculous -- in this new state of being you no longer view all that as suffering when you "look back" -- OR those who still find themselves in the suffering cycle may say, hey it's nice to hear from someone that it does end. It does end!
It has been a solid year.
And we'll see it unfold, right? If it shows back up, I'll tell you.
For me, realization is not limited to, but includes the end of this suffering that most of us have clung so tightly too. I think maybe it is because we associate suffering with living - at the cellular level.
Physical life IS suffering. So deep within the depths of our being we feel (even though we know it's utter bullshit) that if we let go of suffering, we will cease to exist. It's primal.
Or perhaps, there is another hang up that allows someone to move beyond suffering as soon as they become aware of it. For that's all it takes, a tiny glimpse of awareness re-writes the whole experience in embodied form.
It now happens daily or multiple times a day. A tiny drop of awareness, and I have become new again. and again. and again....
How do I write this/ finding words....what am I trying to share???
After a certain level, or stream, rather, of consciousness flowed into me -- not out there surface level but in embodied form - spiraled and all -- last year, around this exact linear time, something switched in the world of human suffering for me.
First of all, I do not feel I have a little, petulant human to describe, to blame for everything. So much of the talk "out there" on the forums is the little human and its rediculous-ness and how it is to blame for everything. Stupid human. Limited human. Master vs human. Fight within. Struggle within. If its hard, it means I am accomplishing something towards enlightenment. Bullshit!
And I get it, because I wrote those posts on those forums, and man, I got a lot of likes on them. I really thought I was having this suffering experience, yet in hindsight I was playing out the role of it for some sort of experience that I was actually enjoying! and saying it was miserable instead -- enjoying the misery loves company to some degree too! -- and I don't need to do that anymore.
It's a certain perception shift that I received internally and in expansion of Self from moving from warm, shallow water of a group and the camaraderie there to the bottom-less ocean of "way the fuck out there" - even your "way out there friends," say hey, bitch you are too far out there. Yep, and I'm more ME for it. Ahhhh....hahaha.....:P
Instead in this go round of 'expansion' rather than integration, my glorious and deeply loved human part of myself - my humanity - is and was enveloped in the fold of Self that is me.
It is not a separate piece of myself -- and never will be again -- that I beat up and view as a rebellious teenager or a crying child. Makes sense for a while, then get's old, no?
Though, I know that part and I so understand how painful it feels at the time. I really do. I remember - only when I'm writing and need to to be sensitive to others. (How am I doing on that? - eek and shoulder shrug).
I say this because when something flips upside down you truly view the "past" as never having suffered though it felt so real at the time. It takes a twinge of perception to go back in that suffering perception.
Instead, my humanity is so intervoven in the fabric of myself I cannot distinguish it from the I AM, from my divinity.
WELP - That's the definition of New Energy right there, integration of all duality including human and divine -- and the weirdest word of all - the master - so strange in this space to separate something out and give it a title.
Ahhh...weird....master.....Adamus said in the shoud master is just a word for wisdom, that helped; I still dislike the word. It feels heavy and not nearly playful enough!!!!
In sum, the delineation between human and master was a great tool to begin communication between the two -- and about one million other pieces and parts that you likely don't wan to entertain until they become a symphony of Self -- yet as long as they are kept separate there will always be a struggle.
.... peace for a while, co-exietence, battle mode, back and forth, and ahhh...allowing the great divine convergence...
I'll go Buddha bullshit on you. It's so basic yet to really go multiple in it, feels so good. Like melting a marshmallow on a stick in the fire - s'mores. MMMMM.....
Suffering comes from the perception of separation. Separation is an illusion.
When you realize you're already realized....you realize, there was never any separation at all between human and divine.
Yet, what an experience to move from delineation into wholeness. Truly radical. Actual rebellion. Grace beyond grit.
Reversing yourself back into your natural state - realizing you never crossed the Wall of Fire.....Holy shit...that was a biggie!
Booo - its all just words until it happens, bubbles floating throughout you like popping a champagne cork.
The two "sections" (human and divine) will merge naturally on their own, in divine timing for the person involved, for sure!, especially when they declare themselves ready. And then preferably forget about it:) I did. That amnesia serves too.
However, as long as the language -- language creates -- focuses on master vs. limited human, suffering will always be present as you duke it out internally, instead of allowing these many (infinite, even) amount of threads weave themselves into a seamless tapestry of Self.
The Seamless Tapestry of Self woven into the Infinite Expression of You Embodied. Holy Wow!
So beautiful. I cannot wait to see what you all weave into your tapestry, or what you have woven already -- beyond any sense of time.
In honor of you. Thanks for allowing me the space to bring it into words, albeit a bit shakey. Made a little graphic with some senses in it for fun:P Why not?
I absolutely cannot edit my own stuff or worry about perfection, so thanks for taking my typos with ease.