Ask Lord Dog (April 2017)
 
Dear Lord Dog:
Having seen the most recent cartoon in the Gazette, are you not concerned what might be drawn of your own reign? If even a prince in Andraste's service is not exempt from ridicule, where does that leave you?
-- The Hardy Lance

Dear Lance:

Prince Sebastian left Andraste's service to return to his family's holdings and rule them. However much he may choose the Chant as a guide to his policies, he is no longer directly in service to the Chantry or Andraste any more than the rest of us are. Still, that leaves him in the awkward position of being an unintended heir, who may not have received the same training as his older siblings, who were considered more likely to inherit. I think the Gazette was quite restrained in their assessment of his rule, and with some recent choices in mind, I'm grateful he has Lady Amell to assist him.

That said, even if he were in the service of the Divine -- even if, Maker preserve us, he were the Divine -- I would expect the Gazette to show little mercy, if any. Such is the nature of a good rag. Do the hundreds of minor publications in Val Royeaux show much more restraint? I think not. In fact, I am personally of the opinion he should be thrilled it was only a cartoon and not the ribald fritterings of Page Six. (Which I have appeared on innumerable times, starting long before my election. ... With an 'L', thank you.)

As to where that leaves me, I refer again to the fact that Page Six of the Gazette cannot seem to get enough of me -- dragons? Qunari? -- and I am no worse for it. All the better, I think, and I'm quite certain my husband would agree. What damage could a wry assault on my actual policies do, after the repeated battering of my virtue?
-- Lord Dog

(Editor's note: The husband in question has lodged a request that we no longer misuse Lord Dog's image in our 'vapid and vulgar anecdotes'. We were quick to inform him that his complaints would be the seasoning for the next use of His Lordship. The husband assured us it was all salt.)