Asking <3
 
Historically, I am mostly terrible at asking for things. Things like help and money and favors from friends. Things that all humans, but especially artists, need in order to exist and thrive. There have been times that I've been so broke that I couldn't afford a cup of coffee and that I've run out of the room screaming rather than accept the money that a friend offered me for groceries. I am forcing myself to work on this. 

So far, it's pretty much been horrifyingly uncomfortable to work through, but it's going to be okay. Because it has to be okay. Because if I don't figure this out, I'm never going to grow as an artist, a leader, or as a person, and I can't just stop where I'm at and be content. I want to create really amazing, polished shows and pay performers tons of money for giving their time, energy, and talent to my productions. I want extravagant props and set pieces that our crowds will squeal when they see and beg to take pictures with. I want costumes that will put Dita von Teese and Yaya Han to shame. I want to go places! I want to give my art to people all over the goddamn planet. And I've never been afraid to want these things, but I've always been afraid to ask. 

In fact, I've spent the past 3 years trying to make these things happen in every way I could think of while trying to ask as little as possible of other people for fear of overstepping or inconveniencing others, which is actually one of the worst possible ways to go about your life because, if you have ambitious goals like I do, it is physically impossible for you to do all of the things you want or need to do by yourself and you stress yourself out an insane amount while simultaneously making the people around you who care about you and want to see you succeed (and maybe even want to be a part of that success!) resent you because they think that you're snubbing them by not asking them for help. The past 3 years have been quite a learning experience, needless to say. 

And yet, here we are. I've decided to pull the trigger and officially launch my Patreon campaign today. I have really big, super inconvenient, ambitious dreams, you guys, and the only way I'm ever going to achieve them is with your help. So, this is me asking: If you like what I do and want to help me keep doing it and making it even better, please check out my Patreon page. I have rewards set up for patrons who give anything from $1 to 100, and even if you can't afford to give, please share my story and help me get the word out. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Ahhhhhh this is so scary! I am so scared and excited and grateful! Okay! Posting this now! Thanks again! Bye! <3