Being Raped Forced Me To Admit That I Myself Had Been Sexually Coercive

"The next thing I remember is being naked in my bed. The tampon I had inserted earlier that night had been replaced by Nick’s penis. We were having sex, but I had no idea how I’d gotten there or when."

"I thought that since I couldn’t physically force him into sex, I was only tempting him, making a sexual argument. I thought that since I was a woman, it was okay to push him in a way that, if the situation were reversed, would have made me incredibly uncomfortable."

These are two sides to the same story: understanding consent. 

It was hard for me to write these words, to share my story of survival in the same space as my story of coercion. But I felt it was necessary. For everyone who completely understands consent, there is someone who felt that sometimes it's murky, like I did.

If this helps even just one person get it, then the writing was worthwhile.


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