hola, fellow homeslices,
"It's your life, but only if you make it so. The standards by which you live your life must be your own standards. Your own values, your own convictions in regard to right or wrong, what is true and what is false, what is important and what is trivial." - Elenor Roosevelt
If I were a Pokemon I would be ditto because I morph into anyone I am around. For a long time I had a really hard time with this aspect of myself because I thought it meant I have no real personality, and to be honest I don't think I have a specified personality, but I do think it's okay now.
a lot of it is because i've spent less time worrying about who I am, and instead worried about what the purpose Is behind the things I do.
Understand that everything you do is a choice, everything. And where you are is because of the choices you have made (there are circumstances you can't control but those are fewer than you realize). Knowing that you have all the control is great, empowering, terrifying, and makes it easier to make more choices.Lately, I've been more conscious of my own decisions in life. From what I eat, to my spending habits, My sleeping habits, my work, and my decisions to be confrontational.
Example: I used to work for a massage company, money was okay but high enough I didn't worry to much but never had extra really, my co-workers we the bomb and my clients were great, My supervisor was at the time, one of my best friends. My manager was the worst and I'm quite sure stole money from those of us who chose to leave. I loved that job but it killed me to work there. I would wake up in a dreadful mood, dreading the coming workday, I would walk the two miles each step would be like when our parents went to school (uphill both ways and through the snow being chased by wolves). It ended up getting pretty bad so one day I apologized to my supervisor and put in my two weeks. I had enough. And that was my choice. I felt so good I wondered why it took me so damn long to finally do it. after looking back I realize it was because I felt I had no real choice. It's a fear jobs have a way of instilling in you. "you're lucky you have this job at all." kind of atmosphere.
ever sense that realization I have absolutely no attachment to any workplace I don't personally own. I make people feel welcome, and do my best to keep a solid composure because I know that as soon as I can't do it on the day to day I'll leave. That is my choice. I now work as a barista for a popular coffee shop chain we all know and love, it was a pay cut but I don't work for money it makes me feel trapped.
I now live my life solely on my own values and convictions. My personality is still just as tangible as it ever was but I now think it's part of my charm, my choices have weight and I treat them like they do.
Think of your own choices, notice what makes you happy, sad, challenged, important, loved, and worth your time. Give your choices meaning, and watch yourself change.