First up is the paradoxically long anticipated yet completely unexpected follow-up to an old classic. Predicted by me and no one else. It's Fuck Glass: The Squeakquel.
Following in the storied tradition of the award winning original, this is another video where i rant maniacally like a crazy person, and everyone loves it, making me question why i bother writing anything ever.
Remember, kids. Don't fuck with glass. Glass will fucking cut you wide open.
Next is a very special birthday message to a very special gal whose name escapes me at the moment. Khan? Krum? KrumpleStiltskin? Something like that. I originally stayed up all night writing, composing, and recording this birthday masterpiece for Rimmy Kimmy's 23rd Life-Turd back in 2013. 4 years later I once again forgot her birthday until the last minute, and decided to stay up all night making a video for it, incorporating all her favorite things, like scary clowns and other assorted nightmare fuel. Also Jim Carrey falling out of a mechanical rhino's butt, which is deeply meaningful to her because if you play it in reverse you can see how she intends to die.
Much like a home crafted birthday cake, this song and video was baked with love. Which is why it looks, sounds, and tastes the way sugary, dirty carnival sex smells. This is Kim's 27th birthday and her 4th 65th birthday so everyone chug a bottle of the cheapest, sleaziest tequila you can find, raise your hands in the sky like you're helping to build a spirit bomb, and sing along, so the wind may carry your well wishes to one of my dearest friends, a woman who made me the Godless Juggalo Demon-Clown i am today. It's the closest we can get to wishing her happy birthday in her native language, Parseltongue.