My take, that’s a completely wrong approach.
They should be solely focused on making the most of their own lives.
Because when they think that their job in life is to offer their children a better life they end up making a lot of wrong (!) assumptions, interfering a lot, and in many cases messing up their children’s lives, and ruining their relationships with their children.
Why do so many parents end up feeling entitled to having a say in their children’s lives? Why do so many of them become disappointed? Why do so many of them have unhealthy relationships with their children?
Because they invested heavily in their children’s lives and they have certain expectations (they assumed that their children should or shouldn’t do this or that). They were taught (it gets passed down from one generation to the next) that as a parent you’re supposed to make sacrifices, which basically means that you should forget many of your dreams.
That’s a bullshit story!
Most parents believe that it’s precisely what good parents do, and they give up on most of their dreams and plans, and when they are in their late 60s they say how this or that wasn’t possible for them, because, as good parents, they prioritized their children’s needs.
They have a lot of regrets, which they sugarcoat with their children’s “successes”. And they bullshit themselves that it’s just the way it is in this world.
But they fail to realize that their children learned the same pattern of behavior.
Now they have those so called “successes”. They’ve graduated from good colleges. They have those “practical” college degrees that will secure them this “better” life (and that they picked because we told them it’s the wise thing to do).
But once they have children of their own, they will repeat the cycle.
And that’s a totally broken method of pursuing happiness in life.
Jim Rohn once said: Children are fine if their parents are fine. I agree 100% with this statement.
Children who have parents (or at least one parent) who make the most of their lives (who, instead of telling themselves how and why it’s impossible, think of ways to get shit done regardless, and who never use excuses), will learn to do the same.
We should never use parenting as an excuse. Instead of telling ourselves that it’s impossible because we have children (as most of us do), we should always think of ways to pursue our dreams regardless.
Collectively we’ve bought into this huge lie. There is this erroneous belief in our society that people who want to realize their dreams and plans for their life, or who want to pursue their passions, shouldn’t have children. And there are people in this world who, precisely because of this bullshit story, decide not to have children. They assume that having both is impossible.
Good parenting and making the best of our own lives (combining those two) is possible. We only tell ourselves that it isn’t possible, because this life philosophy was passed down to us by prior generations. But, is everything they passed down to us right?
Of course not! We can challenge old beliefs and ways of doing stuff.