Hey! Here's the third chapter for my story. I really hope you all like it.
Watching Ciel sleep, I got lost in my thoughts, thinking things demons shouldn't even be supposed to think. Especially since demons couldn't love. Could they? Maybe I was wrong. Maybe, somehow, it was possible.
But I didn't know how. I'd never felt like this before about anyone else, so I didn't know what love felt like. I didn't know what most emotions felt like. I didn't even know I could feel. This was all new to me and, quite frankly, I had no idea as to what to do about it.
Knowing I had to leave early, to start my chores for the day, I reluctantly stood up and stepped silently over to the door, my eyes still on Ciel. Then, tearing my gaze away from the small figure in the bed, I opened the door and left, so I could get most of my chores done before my Lord woke up again.
As I was walking down the hall, I met up with Finny, Mey-Rin, and Bard. I looked at them all sternly before starting to speak. "Now, you all must get on with your chores, but don't do anything stupid and don't interrupt the Young Master. He's not in the best condition after what he's been through, and I'd be most appreciative if you didn't bother him while he is healing. Do you understand?"
The three of them nodded before rushing off in three different directions to complete the chores that were assigned to them. I rolled my eyes before continuing down the hall to the library, where I proceeded to dust off all the shelves that had gathered dust.
I then went outside to tend to the Young Masters' favorite white roses, and the rest of the garden. Though with the roses, I could tell I treated them gentler than the rest. Maybe because they were the Young Masters' favorite? I don't know.
I finished, then continued back inside, where I went to the drawing room to straighten anything up that I might have missed the day before, and to dust. Finally, I made my way to the kitchen, where I busied myself in making the Young Masters' breakfast and favorite tea, Earl Grey.
I had just laid everything gently on the silver platter and set that down on the cart when I heard a scream. I knew immediately it had come from my Young Master, my Ciel. The tea and breakfast forgotten, I raced out of the kitchen and down the hall again, heading towards the young Earls' room.
My heart was pounding inside my chest and there was this odd feeling settling over me, as if I were actually worried, concerned about my master's well-being. Maybe I was. But when had that happened? Had I spent so much time with my Young Master now that I had begun to acquire human emotions? It was possible.
But all I could really think of, all I could really focus on at the moment, was getting to my Young Lord and finding out why he had made that heart-shattering scream. What had caused him to scream like that? My Young Lord has never sounded so broken, so devastated before. What could cause him to do that? And why does it affect me so? I thought, running as fast as I could possible go.
I just barely managed to stop before my Young Masters' door and I had raised a knuckle to knock lightly on his door when I heard a noise from inside. I listened harder and my eyes widened slightly. It sounded similar to that of a sniffle, or something close to a sound one would make if he were crying.
Forgetting all about knocking, I quickly opened my Young Lords' bed chamber. I realized there was a scent in the air that wasn't normally there. At first I couldn't figure what it was; it smelled metallic, and was very odd. Then it hit me like a punch in the stomach. Blood.
It had a hint of a very familiar scent in it too. Ciel. My Young Master. My Ciel. And from what I could smell, there was a whole lot of it. Another noise from the small figure in the bed jolted me from my thoughts. I acted immediately: Lurching forward, I lit the candlebra that stood on my Young Masters' bedside table to see the damage that had been done.
What I saw made me gasp. My Young Master was all tangled up in his bed sheets and and they were all stained in that horrible red color that was his blood. He was thrashing around in his bed, and I knew there was only one explanation for this. It was a nightmare. There wasn't any other excuse. It was obvious.
I had reached out to touch my Young Master's shoulders, to try to wake him up as gently as I could when he screamed again. And this time, he said a word. What he said made me freeze. "SEBASTIAN!" His voice sounded so scared, so alone, but also so trusting as if he knew I would come save him, it nearly broke me.
Shaking my head to try to clear it, I reached out again, this time successfully taking hold of my Young Earls' shoulders to stop him from thrashing around as much. This only made him want to get out more, so I sat next to him on the bed and leaned in closer to him.
Suddenly, I had a thought. What would it feel like if I kissed him? What would it be like, to kiss a human? Wait! No, what am I thinking?! I can't do that! He's my Young Master, I can't take advantage of him like that! I pushed the thought from my mind, and focused on the distraught boy in front of me.
"My Lord, it's all right. I'm here. I wouldn't let anything hurt you, I promise. You are safe with me." Ciel thrashed around for a second more, then relaxed slightly. His eyes snapped open, and he looked at me for a moment, before launching himself onto me.
His small arms locked around my chest and he buried his face in it, catching me off guard. I was shocked speechless. I was stunned. I had no idea what to do. He had never show this sort of weakness towards me - no, it wasn't weakness. How could I think of it as something as simple as that? It was much more, but not weakness. It was need.
He needed so much, so much I couldn't give him. Or at least, what I thought I couldn't give him. But I did what I thought I should: I wrapped my arms around Ciel as well and hugged him to me, rocking us back and forth to try to comfort him.
"S- Seb- Sebastian!" Ciel cried out again, and this time, I could tell he was crying. Something broke inside me at his distraught tone, and I felt something overtake me inside. I knew it was an emotion, I just didn't know it's name. I felt so bad, maybe even heart-broken, at it. I hadn't a clue what to do, but I did what I thought was best.
Tightening my grip on Ciel, I shifted my arms slightly so that they were underneath him. Then, I lifted him up a little and moved him onto my lap, cradling him. I kept rocking him back and forth, trying my best to soothe him, and calm him down enough so he could tell me what was wrong.
It took a while before Ciel had calmed down enough to actually look up at me. I smiled down at him gently, trying to cheer him up. He blushed so profusely, I thought all of the blood had rushed to his head at once. Then, his eyes filled with pain and he flinched away from me, as if he didn't want me to see his pain. But I saw it clearly.
And it concerned me. Deeply. I didn't know why, but it hurt me inside to know he was going through something as horrible as what he was. I knew he was holding back his pain, that he was so close to just giving in and letting himself scream in pain, but he was holding on. My Young Master was so strong and I admired him for that.
His hand moved up to his side and clutched at it, a pained gesture that made me flinch inwardly. I wanted to do everything, anything I could to help, but I didn't know what to do. That was the problem. "Young Master, are you alright?" I asked gently, not wanting to scare him into lying.
I could tell Ciel wanted to lie, that he really wanted to just say,"Yes, I'm fine." but I could also tell that he didn't want to lie to me. And that fact alone made me feel happy beyond belief. Ciel hesitated, then shook his head at me. "N-no, I'm not, Sebastian. Please, please make the pain go away."
I smiled softly at him. "Yes, my Lord. Of course." I gathered Ciel in my arms and stood, holding him gently. I carried him out of the bedroom and to the drawing room where the table I had set up earlier was still sitting. I laid the Young Master on top of the table gently, so as not to hurt him any more.
Then I started to strip off his nightshirt to change his bandages and maybe give him a little relief. Blood had already begun to stain the white bandages and Ciel flinched slightly under my touch. "Sorry, my Lord." I whispered. "N-No, Sebastian, it's fine. Continue."
Nodding, I went to unwrap the bandages that had been stained with blood. I began to unravel the bandages and Ciel flinched again, this time pain flashing across his face. He didn't make a sound, but I felt a rush of guilt anyway, feeling as if it were my fault he was in pain.
"I'm sorry Young Master, I am trying to be as gentle as I can." I told him, softly, feeling terrible at knowing I was the cause of his pain. "N-No, Seb- Sebastian, it's okay..." he murmured back, though pain filled his voice. The way the blood had seeped through the bandages made the bandages stick together and to Ciel's small body and when I tried to take them off, it was harder.
Ciel flinched as I tried to gently unwrap the bandages, trying to un-stick them as best I could and take them off as gently as I could. I could tell Ciel was doing his best to keep his pain in, and I admired it, but I wished he trusted me enough to show his pain in front of me.
As if he realized this, Ciel suddenly whimpered in pain. I froze for a second before returning to removing the blood-stained bandages. He actually trusts me. He really trusts me enough to show his pain in front of me now. I thought, thoroughly surprised at my Young Masters' action.
I finally removed the last of the bandages and let them drop soundlessly onto the ground while I inspected my Young Lords' injury. I brought one hand to my mouth and slipped off a glove with my teeth, then, letting that drop to the ground, touched the injury gently, feeling for the bullet that was most likely still there. When I found it, I quickly looked to my Young Master.
He saw the look in my eyes, and nodded, realizing what I had to do. "I'm sorry, my Lord. I'll be as gentle as I can." I murmured to him, leaning forward to get closer to him. "N-No, th-that's okay, S-Sebastian. Just get it o-over with." Ciel said, his voice trembling in pain. "Please, S-Sebastian, please just make it go a-away." I nodded, my heart clenching at his tone of voice.
"Yes, my Lord. Of course, I will do my very best." I kept it together, forcing my voice to not show any emotion as I responded. My eyes started glowing, with that reddish fire and they went cat-like. The black nails on my uncovered hand became claw-like, and I felt my fangs come out; I was going demonic so that I could access my powers.
The reason: I needed to use my powers so that I wouldn't hurt my Young Master. The black raven feathers appeared out of nowhere and surrounded me like a small hurricane so my Young Earl wouldn't be able to see any part of my true form.
I leaned forward a little, stretching my black clawed hand out and a few seconds later, the silver bullet in my palm. I walked over to another part of the drawing room, to a table that was clear except for a light so I could examine it further. The feathers disappeared again, and I controlled myself again, locking up the demon inside of me and going back to the form my Young Lord knew.
Turning back around, I looked over at my Young Master. He was writhing around on the table in pain and just the sight of him in pain made he hurt inside. I rushed over to his side, placing my hands over his arms and trying to calm him down.
Ciel continued to struggle for a few minutes, then he calmed down when he realized it was only me. "My Lord, what's wrong? What happened? Did I hurt you? Was it me? My deepest apologies, my Lord. I had no intention of hurting you. I'm so sorry."
He shook his head at me, trying to catch his breath so he could explain to me what was wrong, but he was still shaking from the obvious extremity of the pain. His eyes were full of pain and I couldn't stand to look into them, because they hurt me.
I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to take the boy up in my arms, and I couldn't stop myself from picking him gently off of the table. I held him close to my body, being careful not to hurt him, and also not caring about the blood that started to seep through my tailcoat.
Ciel curled up in my arms, pressing his head into my chest, and a small whimpering sound escaped him. My heart clenched at the little sound, and I pressed him closer to my chest. We stayed like that for a few minutes, then I realized that Ciel was starting to shake slightly.
Standing back up slowly from where I had accidentally sunk down to the floor, I laid my Young Master back on the table. Looking closely at him, I noticed he looked paler than he had before and he was shaking slightly. Then I looked down at myself and saw the whole front of my tailcoat was covered in blood. His blood. Damn it! I cursed to myself.
I am so stupid! I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I realize this before?! Why didn't I bandage him up before now?! Ugh, I hate myself right now, I'm so stupid! I thought as I quickly went around, picking up a new roll of bandages and starting to wrap them around my Young Lord. Thankfully, I saw the bleeding start to slow down and finally stop as I continued to wrap the bandages around Ciel's stomach and waist.
I sighed in relief and secured the end, then gathered my Young Lord up in my arms carefully. I walked slowly down the hall to his quarters so as not to cause him any pain. When I arrived at his bedroom door, I pushed it open with my hip, and went in sideways.
Gliding up to the side of his bed, I slipped my young Earl into the sheets and pulled the duvet up to his chin, to make sure he would be warm enough. Then I pulled the chair up to his bedside, like I had last night, and sat down on it. I was going to stay with him the whole night again, to make sure nothing happened again, like the night before.
My Young Master turned around in his bed, so that he was facing me, and I couldn't stop my hand from reaching out and touching his hair softly. It was so soft, and I ran my hand through it, liking the feel of it against my bare hand. Then I remembered I had left everything, including my other glove, in the drawing room. I would just have to clean it up in the morning; I didn't want to leave my Young Master and risk something happening.
Especially since if something bad happened, because not only would it hurt him, it would hurt me as well. I was still trying to figure out what these new feelings were, but I had no idea. Demons didn't feel - that's all there was to it. But, apparently, that little fact wasn't true. I figured that out the hard way.
I was almost positive there was just something wrong with me, maybe I had a screw loose or something, but I shook that thought off as I looked at my Young Master again. Maybe it was just because I had spent so much time around him and the other servants I had gained human emotions. I didn't know, but that suggestion seemed about right.
Ciel sighed deeply as he felt my hand run through his hair again, and I smiled at the noise. He curled slightly under the big comforter and his whole body relaxed. "Sebastian...?" he murmured to me, his voice so soft I had to lean forward to hear it, despite my demonic sense of hearing.
"Yes, my Lord? Do you need anything?" My Young Master shook his head, then winced. "N-No, I just want you to stay with me for tonight. " he replied, opening his eyes and looking up at me with one deep blue eye and one deep violet eye.
Smiling gently down at him, I answered. "Yes, my Lord. I wouldn't even dream of leaving you tonight. I'll be with you until you fall asleep and while you sleep. I promise." I told him softly, relishing the way he relaxed at my words. Ciel laid his head back down on his pillow, but his eyes didn't close just yet.
He stared up at me, and I blinked, just to make sure there weren't any emotions in my eyes that he would see. Apparently, by the look in his eyes, he had already seen something in my eyes, and I silently cursed. Damn. I need to be more careful. I don't want my Young Master to realize I'm developing feelings for him... Wait, what? Feelings? Is that what this is?
I felt shock flood my body at the thoughts. Feelings? I was acquiring feelings for my Young Lord? That wasn't possible! And even if it was, it wasn't allowed! He was my master, he ruled over me. It would be wrong to have feelings for him. Him. That was something else. Ciel was a male. I was a male. What was wrong with me?!
I was a demon, a creature not supposed to have feelings in the first place, and on top of that, the one I had feelings for was my master. It was so wrong, and so hurtful on top of that little fact, I started to ache inside. Ache with the knowledge that if, and when, I finally realized what my feelings were, they would be forbidden.
So lost in my thoughts with trying to figure everything out, I didn't hear Ciel when he called my name out. When I finally realized he had been calling my name, he had said it at least three times. "Yes, my Lord?" I looked down at my Young Master, the feeling rushing up inside of me when I saw his beautiful, multi-colored eyes.
"Sebastian, are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft. Was that actually concern in his voice? Was he actually showing emotion? Was he actually showing care? Did he even realize it? Ciel's tone of voice only made my emotions even more jumbled up, and I almost couldn't take it all.
But, I acted as if nothing were wrong and looked down into his beautiful eyes. They really were full of concern, worry, and care. Maybe it was just because he was so tired, he didn't realize it. But it was there, and for some reason, it made my heart start beating faster. If I had been a human, I probably would've blushed.
I smiled again, calming him, and replied,"Yes, my Lord. Of course I am. Are you?" My Young Earl nodded and I continued to run my fingers through his soft hair. Ciel relaxed, finally closing his eyes, and in a few minutes he was asleep. I kept my hand on his head, just in case, and prepared to stay the whole night.
I hope you like the third chapter. My depression and anxiety is acting up and the fact that I'm not getting more patrons so far is not helping, but I hope you guys like this and will become at least a little more interested and maybe pledge to me. It would be greatly appreciated if you do, thank you!