City of Betrayal - The Blurb Game (V1)
Hey patrons!

I thought we could do something interesting writing-wise. One of the hardest parts of writing-wise for me is to craft a solid blurb. I've been tinkering with one for City of Betrayal and it's... not good. Not horrible, but it doesn't cover enough of the story to my liking, nor does it properly draw the emotional stakes. It's missing mood and theme, too. In short: not done at all.

But that's kind of the point! I figured it'd be cool to show you the process. I'm sure not every writer needs a gazillion iterations before they manage their blurb, but I sure do. Usually, I get my best results by repeatedly hammering at it. :)

Anyway, the very early draft is right here! 

Do not read if you have not finished City of Strife. It's full of spoilery spoilers!


 Isandor, City of Spires.

Rival merchant families have found a common goal, but it’s not the Myrian Enclave, as Lord Dathirii hoped. Instead, they follow Lord Allastam’s ruthless quest for revenge and hunt down Hasryan, accused of killing Lady Allastam a decade ago. Their best lead rests in Arathiel Brasten, who freed the assassin before being captured himself, but he refuses to give the slightest hint of his friend’s whereabouts. 

House Dathirii has no political allies, its resources are stretched to the limit, and if it throws its weight into protecting Arathiel, it will create new enemies for itself. Lord Dathirii knows not to get involved, but he promised to save High Priest Varden, and between his resistance to pain and his great combat skills, Arathiel provides an unique opportunity. Requesting his freedom might trigger Lord Allastam’s boundless ire, yet his only alternative is to let Avenazar torture a good man. There is only one moral decision, but can House Dathirii withstand the consequences?

City of Betrayal is the second installment of the City of Spire trilogy. 


Last bit can contain more theme and mood.
What about something about Hasryan's friends looking for him too? What if I started there?
How can I make the blurb more personal?

Good luck to myself fixing this mess!