COMIC REDO: "Introduction"
  After reading a book by Greg Dean about joke writing, I came to undrestand why my good comic strips were good, and why my bad ones were bad. So I've been changing a few to hopefully make them better.  This comic was one of them.  


Here's the original version: "Introduction "


The concept of a joke is that you tell a story to lead the audience to think one idea, then surprise them with a different meaning or outcome that is compatable with the original idea. "Take my wife... please..." 


In the original version of this comic, I was trying to express that I hated "Frozen", all while introducing Jack the spider and setting the tone for "Skitter". I think the problem was that there really wasn't a surprise twist. There was a hint of one, but it really wasn't very good. 


I decided to focus instead on the fact that "Skitter" is about bugs and people think bugs are creepy. As well, I would try to showcase Jack's mischievous personality.  Working with the idea that the reader should be led in one direction and then be surprised by an opposite, yet compatible twist, I rewrote the strip with Jack being sympathetic that he creeps you out. He will stay out of sight - to relieve your anxiety. The twist is when he reveals he'll only crawl across your face when you're sleeping, which is still a show of sympathy, but it's SO MUCH WORSE and will only ADD to your anxiety! It's  a horrifying surprise, but it still fits the meaning of his previous statement. 


In my opinion, the new version of this comic is a much better joke.


There are other definitions of funny that I've picked up from Scott Adams ("Dilbert") . He has a humor checklist of elements that help make a joke work.  They are: Clever, Bizarre, Cute, Cruel, Recognizable, and Naughty.  He also states that when someone's status is lowered in some way, we laugh.  Like a pie to the face, he/she's been disrespected and it's funny.


Scott Adams claims you should have some of these elements to help a joke's comedy potency. So what elements does the new and improved comic strip contain? I belive it has:

  • Clever -  Jack's solution to the problem
  • Bizarre - A talking spider 
  • Cute - A talking, cuddly, spunky spider 
  • Cruel - Jack crawlng across my face ( yeah, that's supposed to be me )
  • Recognizable - Fear of bugs, specifically spiders
  • Naughty - Jack skittering across my face
  • Lowered Status - I have a spider crawling across my face.

I was really happy with this new version of the strip. So much so that I changed it to be the first strip instead of the second.  It's a better introduction than "Drink Me".

Let me know what you think in the comments below! 


-John


( The NEW comic's Patreon "Thank You" goes to Rodney X! ) 

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