It's my 27th birthday next Friday. So I'm attempting a thing.
I'm doing a 7 days to 27 countdown. There will be a small piece of something every day from today to next Friday.
When you get to 27 you are also 26, 25, 24, 23, 22...
I used to want to be 23 forever. I've almost forgotten about it until typed the sentence above.
We change. But we are always the accumulation of everything that has ever happened to us.
These posts will be public.
Here's the entry of today.
D minus 7
There has been a war.
Everything is in rubbles. We see before and after pictures of a city. But we don't see the inbetweens.
It's easy to struck things down, in this day and age. All it takes is a second. One moment of happening.
To clear out the ruins. To make a city habitable again?
They don't show that.
They just come back on certain anniversaries and show a montage of photos.
Before the before. Before. And after.
That is if the city is significant enough for the after to be of interest.
Or if it's a slow day but the blanks need to be filled.
The show must go on.
And ninety minute shows can not be thirty minutes long.
They never show the inbetweens.
Even in books and movies. A new chapter starts. The screen dims and lights up.
Things have changed.
I think about this a lot, in the middle of a twenty hour train journey. When my skin feels white hot with cold in the middle of a period cramp. Sometimes both. I think about this.
Where do I get the magic to blink, or fall into a coma.
And I land, gracefully, into After.
Sometimes it's a car ride, these are okay, because I know approximately when it ends, and where I am going.
Sometimes it's waiting for painkiller to work, these are slightly worse, I know it will eventually happen, but exactly for how long do I still have to suffer? I don't know.
Sometimes it's wondering which point I am in my journey of life. And this ... how does one navigate where we are when we don't know where the ending lies? Most of the times, it feels we are not moving at all.