'This is life, your life. This sad, despicable existence where you can't even do what you love most.'
I block the blinding light from my ceiling with my hand. If I could, I would turn it off. But, I can't. My legs ache, they're 200 pounds. Same with my arms. It takes everything I have to lift my body only an inch.
Was I like this when I went to bed?
No, I wasn't.
Rolling over on the bed, I sigh into my pillow, "I'm tired, tired of being awake--of existing." My eyes creep closed, relishing in the darkness.
Isn't that essay due in three days? I haven't started it at all. I should get up and work on it, at least the intro. I stare at my desk only a few steps away.
Tomorrow... I tell myself, closing my eyes once more.
Suddenly, a knock on my door resounds around the room. Callum, opening the door a sliver, pokes his head through.
"Can you do the dishes for me?" he asks. I turn opposite him.
"Sorry, I will later. I'm not feeling too well right now," I say, trying my best to keep my voice even. Why are my eyes burning? We're only talking about chores.
Callum strolls closer and says, "What's wrong? Do you need anything? Should I bring you some medicine? A puke bowl? Soup?"
"No. I'm just a little tired."
"Oh, okay. Get some rest, then. Don't worry about the dishes."
"Okay," I mumble as Callum shuts my door softly.
I'm tired, so tired, I think to myself as my eyes grow heavy, Let me sleep and never wake up. Please.
Heavy. And wet.
Expecting sweat, I open my eyes to see I had drenched my pillow with tears. I brush the strands of hair sticking to my cool cheeks aside. I flip over.
At least, I wish I could. Strong, secure arms are wrapped around me. I look over my shoulder to see long, dark eyelashes caressing soft cheeks.
"Hnng..." he mumbles, his eyes dancing. They slowly open. Golden orbs gaze at me, and as they recognize me, tenderness fills them to the brim. A hand reaches up and strokes my cheek. "Rose," he smiles, pulling me closer. His arms tighten.
"How did you know?" I whisper into his chest.
"I always know. You are my other half, after all." I snuggle further into his chest. The obtrusive thoughts quiet but never disappear. Even so, I'm grateful.
I'm glad you're here, if it's only a little.