It happens from time to time; I have been feeling really discouraged and down for the past week or so. This makes it hard to write, among other things.
Events of the past few months have probably not helped.
But, no matter how I feel, I still know where I stand. I know what I know to be true, and I want to know what I don't yet know. Whether it confirms the things I suspect, but don't know, or disproves them. I'd rather know I've been wrong than "feel smart". In fact, I love learning that something I thought was true isn't- even if it means I have to adjust.
No matter what is going on in my head, I know I have no right to initiate force. I know I have no right to violate your property. I know you owe me nothing beyond respecting my life, liberty, and property, and that if you don't do this minimum, I can defend myself from you or your agents with a clear conscience. I know my existence places no obligation on you beyond this.
And, for the most part, as long as you don't have a government "job", I know you'll probably live up to it. Almost all the aggression and property violations I have experienced in my life were committed by people using the excuse of "government"- and the few violators who were freelance I was able to deal with. Or not.
I don't know how every little problem will be solved if I don't allow myself to use (or advocate) aggression or theft. Or even if every problem can be solved without aggression and/or theft. I suspect there are unsolvable problems out there, and even if I wish it weren't true, I am OK if that's just the way reality is. It changes nothing to feel otherwise.
Regardless of how I feel, there is a firm foundation propping me up. It may not be much, but it's enough. It has to be.