First show! And some history.
Played my first show the day before yesterday! The costume is only half complete. Leigh and I spent nearly a week sewing and cutting and whatnot. It went well! Or, as well as could be expected. There is quite a lot to performing! It's more than just showing people what you've been doing in your hermit time. The second you stand up ok a stage in front of actual people who are waiting... Everything just falls apart. Suddenly your guitar is at the wrong angle; You worry about where your knees and feet are at; You become self-conscious of posture. Are you being too stiff? Where is the mic again? Are you making enough eye contact? Too much? It's like an explosion of anxiety and it translates into forgetting riffs and lyrics you've done, oh, at least 4.2 gazillion times. But then, you just do it anyway. And every once in a while you forget about all of that and fall into the song. And those moments... That's why I won't stop doing this. They are a reason to wake up in the morning. I love this. I love it more than I've loved anything else in life. Somehow I feel this is a milestone, and I think I'll reminisce for a bit... On July 1st, i'll have been playing music for 4 years. The day I picked up the guitar it became immediately apparent that literally everyone elses songs were just too difficult. So I started writing my own. I took my guitar with me while I drove my cab and practiced in the downtime. Right from the start, people would ask me to play them a song, and since i didnt know anything, I just honestly told them all I had were a couple of songs written by a guy who couldn't actually play. They still wanted it though, and they gave some excellent feedback. After the ice was broken it became a lot easier. I played for someone almost every work night. It was fascinating to me how the feedback would be the same from all kinds of people and for long periods of time. I had began taking lessons from Djinn Maury every week around that time and sometimes things he said would seem to echo through the world. Other people would say it with different words, but it would be the same advice. Once, i had the same advice consecutively for almost three months! The critiques would flow in cycles as well. One week five unrelated people would tell me to work on my voice. The next, rhythm. Guitar. Voice. Guitar. Rhythm... And so on. I began recording myself with my iphone to see what they saw. At first, it was hard. What I was feeling and what was actually happening were just not even close. I didn't know how to make it work. People gave advice, I listened and researched and practiced and sooner or later the advice would suddenly change. This went on for almost three years until one day... People stopped critiquing me. Everyone just stopped. They began asking me if I played shows and where and if I had a card. People began having emotional reactions to some songs, and sometimes for reasons I really didn't see coming. I began getting excellent tips on fares where I performed. One memorable time two women began arguing over who got to pay the $28 fare, which was rather surreal. I told them, half-jokingly, that was no need to fight! They could both pay me! ...And they did. So that was a major turning point. Oddly, once I had confidence that I was on the right track, the opportunities to play for people dwindled and dropped out. Nowadays people play for me much more often than the other way around. I did get to play a song for a gorgeous professional soccer player (the Thorns) and she really seemed to enjoy it, despite my warning that her ears might bleed... Anyway, so here we are. Starting from a new kind of beginning. And once again, I'm playing with very few cards, but I'm going for it anyway. By now failure is comforting, its easy to find the lesson in it. To all those who have constructive criticisms, thank you. From my heart. I know I can't please everyone, but it pleases me to listen to the advice of many and find the linking threads. Thank you for reading this as well, it got rather long winded...
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