A few years back, I was going through an unexpected heartbreak. I had spent some time with an amazing woman, and I opened my heart up to dating her.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t in the same place.
And though we are still wonderful friends and I value her Presence in my life greatly, at the time I took it really hard. In that pain, I realized a very simple truth:
Few of us actually ask for what we need in our lives.
I needed support. I needed to be seen, heard, and supported. This was difficult though because I live in a less-populated area with no close friends nearby.
I felt alone.
In the past when I felt alone, I’d withdraw even further. I’d hide and keep my feelings to myself. Part of me didn’t feel worthy to ask for support. Part of me was scared I wouldn’t receive it.
But I wasn’t that person anymore, and so I chose a different route.
I posted the following message to my small group of personal friends on Facebook:
"Going through a transformational time, and I’d like your support...
For many reasons, too often people are afraid to ask for what they want and need. That’s just plain silly though, since there’s a neverending well of support available to us for the asking.
So I’m asking!
Please write a comment (or PM or text me) about something you like / love / appreciate about me."
It’s important to notice I didn’t ask for help or well-wishes. That wasn’t the support I personally needed in that moment.
My heart was broken and I needed to feel loved. I needed to feel the fullness of my heart so that I could love myself back together again.
The comments people wrote were really touching and a powerful reminder of who I am, how I impact people, and the way I show up in the world.
And the reason I’m sharing this with you is because there are a LOT of ways that we often don’t ask for the support we want and need.
Yet there’s so MUCH available to us when we reach out and actually let people into our world… into our hearts.
Next time you find yourself feeling unsupported, look around and be curious what support might actually be available to you…
If you were to only ask.