The Hermit Stage of Awakening
I've just discovered there is a name for the way I have been feeling over the last several months of my life. Apparently, I'm in the "Hermit stage" of awakening.

From what I've read and watched, the Hermit stage can have any or all of these attributes:

1. Withdrawl from typical social activities

2. Becoming less engaged - unwilling to be social

3. Some even quit their jobs due to an inability to stomach being around negativity

4. Unwillingness, lack of desire, to educate and share what you are learning about yourself and life itself.

5. Being unsure about... everything and everyone.

6. A strong desire to keep going in and seeking truth, by yourself, working to reach deeper. Never sharing the results with anyone.

7. For me, being unsure about everything to the point that I don't trust I can legitimately tell anyone anything about spirituality, awakening, or anything else related to seeking.

(Ironic, given I started this project right when I was at the apex of my first stage of awakening, unaware that I was about to enter the Hermit stage, lol)

8. Loneliness - but in a good way that's hard to describe.

There are many other traits I've read about. 

Notice I'm not even trying to act like I know anything about this, yet I'm smack in the middle of it. Thats another trait - I   now know how much I know nothing. I don't feel I am on solid enough ground to comfortably tell anyone else what they might do to continue their search, even though I know tons more about it than I ever have before.

It was hard to even sit down to write this message. I know nothing yet I'm seeing and feeling more than I ever have before.

It seems to me to be the grand paradox of awakening.

Experts say you should just roll with this. It will change and you will get your confidence and direction back. I'm not hating anything about it. In fact, I don't feel much at all about it outside of gratitude for it.

(It couldn't have been better timed than to arrive during the election.)

If you are in the Hermit stage, as especially if you're just hearing about it like I am, I say we tell ourselves to take heart. Keep going. Seek on. 

It doesn't feel permanent to me. And, for me, it's nice to feel like I've taken an emotional break from "what was" in order to clear the way for what is. That feeling of, in many ways, becoming a whole new person with a whole new understanding of things sort of feels like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. 

Maybe this is what it feels like inside the cocoon. Not good or bad. Just awareness like that of a newborn baby just about to figure out the world around them for the first time.

Here are some links about (or related to) the Hermit stage I've found helpful...

5 Stages of Awakening  - Collective Evolution blog post

" Time alone is what is needed in order to be with yourself fully to really get to know who you truly are. You need to be lonely to hear that subtle voice within. So many messages, realizations, and epiphanies will come through in this alone time that you have, enjoy it. Being lonely is a gift and is part of the Spiritual Awakening process. There are so many things that happen during this time and you wouldn’t want to miss any of it by chatting aimlessly about random nonsense with others, or in trying to convince them of something they are unable to grasp right now. This will in fact stall your forward progress."

-From an excellent insight I found in this article