I haven't gone anywhere, I promise. 

I've been silent on here for the past few weeks, but I haven't stopped writing. I'm still pecking away at it, getting the rough draft digitized and edited, and then broken up into chapters. It's a weird process, editing. I love writing, but editing does not feel like writing. Editing is not a creative act, though it involves creativity. It's not making something, it's fixing something that's broken and I've been itching to start a new story, but I won't until this one is finished.

The main reason for my silence is that I've been having heart problems recently. Hypertension, the doctor tells me. I'm almost sure it's not life-threatening, but it is a major inconvience. My chest hurts, I'm always tired and head-achey, but the worse part is actually feeling my mortality. It's like I've spent my whole life watching death (more on that in another post maybe) walk around totally oblivious to my existence, but now it seems to have turned its eyes on me. It's not coming after me, but it's aware of me now.

The reason for my hypertension is stress, though I think it wouldn't be so bad if I were in the States. Living in a foreign country, especially one with a difficult language, makes everything that much more stresssful. Driving is calming in the States because I know that, should anything go wrong, I can handle it. If I get into a crash, I know what to do, I know the expectations, and I know how to negotiate. If I'm pulled over, I know what to say and how to respond to the officer. But, here in Japan, I don't know any of that. Driving always feels like a risk here, because I don't know the rules. Everything feels like a risk. I can't relax because there might come a ring at the door and a situation that I have to take care of immediately, but which I have no experience dealing with. It's vague, I know, but the fear also a vague, something might happen for some reason, but that's why it's so stressful.

So, that's my reason for being silent on here for so long. But, though I've been silent, I've been active. Chapter 2 is almost copied over and I'll begin editing it soon.

If you haven't already, please share my Patreon page on Facebook and also my blog electricpapers.wordpress.com. Getting the word out and getting lots of readers will do a world of good, and maybe relieve some of this stress! Thanks so much!