In Defense of being selfish...
 

My friends call me the “Selfish Bit#h”. I know this
sounds harsh but it’s generally taken out of context. The Selfish bit#h
is not what you’re probably assuming as an uncaring, cold hearted wench,
 so much so as…well exactly that.Just Kidding...

The
 selfish bit#h I am referring to is someone who puts his or her needs
first before others. Not in a malicious way, but in a necessary way. I
am not talking about a selfish person that eats all the cake leaving
none for anyone else, more so then the person who, in their personal
capacity satisfies their own needs as a priority. When I say needs, I am
 talking about the bigger picture here. Their sense of self, their
happiness, their security, their beliefs, interests etc. Someone who is
selfish enough to make sure their inner space and needs are met first,
before extending their energy or attention onto someone else.

You
 can sure as hell bet that if someone is happy, they will approach you
in a happy manner. Someone who is not happy, will project their
self-image as unhappy and that will then be their reality and approach. I
 don’t know about you, but I’d rather the bitch be selfish and come to
me with happy vibes, then put their shit on me. If we just accept
people to make their own decisions without judgement, then there is no
room for arguments. There need not be any constraints on what a person
can or can’t do, should or shouldn’t say, that is how opinions and
judgements are formed. There are NO rules, but your own rules.

Now
 I am not saying, do or say anything you want in any manner no matter
who you may hurt or offend (unless that is how you want to be)I am
saying that if your intentions are good, and you are looking out for
your own best interests, then you do whatever the hell it is that is
appropriate or suited for YOU. I often find that people base their
decisions more on not upsetting someone, or offending them, then their
actual personal preferences. They will go places they are not keen to
be, to keep that person happy. Or they will say something that they
FULLY don’t agree with, to keep that person happy. Or they will put
themselves out, to keep someone happy. All I am hearing is a lot of
keeping everyone else happy which to an extent is SELFLESS and
commendable but not when you are being compromised. I know it feels
good when someone else is happy, and I don’t condone doing things to
make other people happy at all, in fact I encourage It, just not to your
 own detriment. You can’t make someone else entirely happy period, let
alone when you’re not happy yourself.

Everyone is
 responsible for working on their own space and keeping themselves
happy. Everyone is responsible for how they interpret a situation and
how they choose to feel about it. If someone says something you don’t
like, or that is offensive, you have allowed yourself to feel that way
by relating that information with your belief system. Sure, someone may
 say something downright nasty or malicious and so they need to be
responsible for how THEY feel about what they said. They are entitled to
 say whatever they want, just as much as you are entitled to choose how
you feel about it. If you allow that person to upset you over what they
have said, that means that you don’t believe in yourself enough to
completely disregard it and have it not affect your state of being or
emotions.

So back to being selfish. You do what
 makes you happy. You worry about where you want to go, who you want to
see, what you want to do. You use your discretion as you feel fit on the
 decisions you make according to your life situation. At no point should
 anyone else have any say in how you should be doing things, or the
decisions you should be making. Advice and encouragement are welcomed.
We all like to bounce ideas off each other and give advice where we can,
 but the minute you try and make someone else feel a certain way about a
 situation that you don’t agree with, you are doing them an injustice.

So
 you be selfish and you don’t give a fu#k that it may not float so and
so’s boat. This is your boat. There is no need to ever feel bad for
doing what you want to do even if that means upsetting someone. I am
talking about the bigger picture. There are times when a lot of stuff
involves things that you may not feel like doing, and then it boils down
 to making sacrifices for what is worthy or not of your time, within
reason, and with good intent. If you have planned your best friend’s
birthday party and then you just don’t go because you just don’t feel
like it, and can’t be dealing, this is not the selfishness I speak of.

There
 is another form of classic selfishness, which is an essential part of
our growth. The non-enabler! You need to be selfish enough to not
enable the victim. A victim is a person who has come to feel helpless
and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment. Again, you would
 need to use your discretion who you want to give your fu#ks to and who
you want to support in any given situation, but there is a fine line
with being supportive, and enabling someone. Someone who is upset from
any situation is responsible for how they feel as mentioned earlier.