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Jac Triton and the Gift Horse

Remember Jac Triton's Last Kiss and how I threatened to make it into a continuing thing?  Well I've gone and done it, and now you get more gender-expansive intergalactic superspy nonsense.

This second chapter in what looks to be an ongoing thing reveals what was in the screaming bag and does a metric ton of worldbuilding and also has a shopping trip in it.

As with everything I've just finished, I'm uncertain of a lot of parts and decisions, many of which were new ground for me or just plain odd choices but I think it all holds together?  There's always the question of how much information to dump and how much to withhold and still make things interesting, for instance.  There's a lot of new information in here, but I think it's presented, for lack of a better word, cunningly?  By contrast, there's not a whole bunch of pressing conflict, but there are a lot of open questions, and a little suspense and maybe that's enough fuel to make the scenes go?  And lastly, writing in present tense is for some reason super hard for me, and I think I caught all the parts where I accidentally reverted to past tense but I may have missed a couple.

As always, I am hungry for feedback, in the comments here or via private message.  As things get more complicated — scenes with three named characters who use 'they' pronouns but have very different genders — I am curious if things are still clear and comprehensible.

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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 10 exclusive posts
6
Images
1
Link
5
Writings