Last Quarter Beaver Moon
 Our protections can be things that  keep us safe, but they can also be barriers we put up to keep people  out.  Sometimes this is a good thing, especially when someone is hurting  us, either intentionally or accidentally.

But we can also be  plagued by memories of previous hurts, and these can cause us to layer  on more protections than we may actually need.  While these can  definitely help insulate us from these lingering traumas, they can also  keep out things in our present lives that would bring joy and light to  us.

Sometimes, we don't see what is actually in front of us.  We  might meet someone who, in some way, reminds us of someone else.  And  instead of allowing this new person to become known to us, we see them  through the lens of how we saw the person they remind us of.  If we have  bad memories of the other person, we can never give the new one a  chance.  We instead treat them like they actually were the person we  have dealt with before.

We do need to be wary, and if a situation  or type of person was harmful to us in the past, we may need to be more  wary when we are confronted with something similar.  But we should  approach this with our eyes wide open.  Be ready with your protections,  but practice lightening them just a little.  Test the waters and see if  the new situation actually warrants the extra protection or if we are  just acting on the ghosts of the past. 

Moving forward may mean  we need to build trust and security from the ground up.  We may need to  have our protections higher for a while, and gradually lower them.  We  may need to work through those past traumas so that we can let them go.   We may need to forgive ourselves or the people we feel should have been  protecting us when we weren't able to protect ourselves.

It can  be really easy to hold onto these deep grudges.  To judge other people  for their failings.  And while there is nothing wrong with acknowledging  how someone contributed to your pain, if you want to move forward in  your relationship with them, you have to find a way to come to terms  with the past.

This might mean that you realize that you can't  actually forgive the person.  Some things you might not be able to get  over.  There is nothing wrong with this!  Some acts just cut too deeply,  and you may recognize that you will never be able to fully trust this  person any more.  You may need to figure out how you can let them go  from your life, or at least take a step back from them.

Other  times, you may find that you can forgive the person who was involved in  your past pain.  In order to build a healthy relationship in the  present, it is deeply important to actually release the old blame and  any negative emotions that are clinging to it.  If you are constantly  bringing up past mistakes, you can not move forward, you will always be  stuck with that event holding you back.  

Remember, forgiving  someone else isn't something you are doing for them, although it does  benefit them.  You forgive someone because it is right for you to do  so....because it is necessary for YOUR growth and health.  

And  either way, whether you ultimately decide to forgive the past or release  the person from your present, you never need forget what happened.  You  learn from what has happened to you, so that in the future, you are  better prepared.  You can use this information to keep yourself better  protected by being more proactive with your protections.  When you know  what you need to protect from, you can keep your protections focused on  the actual dangers and not on just keeping everything out because you  feel like you can't trust anything.

Our history is what creates  us, it molds us into who we are in the present.  But we want to be like  the flower that grows out of the dirt and compost of all the things in  our past, taking in what nourishes us and letting the rest settle  underneath our feet.  We don't want to be crushed under the pile of  trash, always struggling to reach the light.

Look at the areas in  your life where you are holding onto resentments and continuing to let  old pains dictate your present and future.  Consider how you want to  deal with these old energies so that you can move forward without them  continuing to shackle you.  Forgive what you can and release what you  can not.  The past is in the past, let it stay there!

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