I realized two things as I sat down to make these - One: my phone's camera is not as great as I thought. Two: I needed to add another step to my sketching process. I felt like I wasn't exploring enough of the space as I sketched at a larger size, but I wasn't allowing enough room for the text or I was getting the wrong box shape if I drew it too small. So from now on I will be doing these tiny, stick figure thumbnails for the basic layout of each panel, and then re-doing them at the proper size but more sketchy like this:
But in reflecting on this now, I don't know if I really want to redo this again in pencil - it might be worth it to just do the next step in photoshop.