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Meditating, Again.
I've gotten into this pretty good routine in the mornings.

Jupiter wakes me up every morning at 6am. He comes and gets into bed and gives me this big hug, which is a great way to wake up, especially because I've been having a lot of strange anxiety dreams lately. 

Anyway, we roll out of bed together and I make him breakfast (often waffles or french toast, these are the things he LOVES), then I start getting him ready for his day. Juliana gets up about an hour later and she puts his lunch together. Then at 7:45 I take him to camp, which is just about an 8 minute walk away.

After I drop him off, I set out on my run. I've been doing my best to run everyday - I'm in my third week. I run 3 miles. I take Sunday's off. I really find with running that if I do it every single day, or at least MOST days, it just gets easier. I get into a rhythm. Ordinarily, I tend to run 3 days a week, but that doesn't allow me to really get into that groove. 

Anyway, I get home, take a shower and sit down to meditate for 10 minutes. This is the truly new part of the routine. I haven't meditated regularly since just before Jupiter was born, over 2 years ago. Juliana and I went to that 5 day silent retreat and when we came back, we were really committed to doing at least 10 minutes a day. Then baby came and of course that went out the window. 

But now I've carved out this nice little place for it. It's so hard. It's hard for me to sit still, even just for that long. I do my best to focus on my breathing, but my thoughts are always all over the place. I know that's the point. And I do find that even just sitting there with my eyes closed, getting maybe 5 seconds total of awareness of my breath and my body, even that makes a difference. I really hope I can keep it up. I'm curious if it gets any easier, like running does.