I ask for testimonials, I receive them, I read ‘em, I include ‘em in the future book and I talk about them and red pills get shared. Everybody wins. That’s what we are doing again today, and I’ll be bringing you a testimony from a story that I received recently. He hit me up on Patreon, and by the way, another Patreon payout just came in three days ago and I want to extend a thank you to all of those that have been Patrons in the past and are current patrons. Thank you!
He hit me up there and he said...you know, I don’t really know if my testimony is that exciting. The thing is, those “exciting” stories are nice to receive and get the viewers listening and get the comments section going, but honestly, the greatest apologetic for MGTOW is the MGTOW story that was just red pill laced, not necessarily a red pill dump. Because, like I said in the recent video, “Some Men Haven’t Been Burned, They Just Don’t Want to Touch the Fire”, many men have just been told by common sense that the best course of action is the course of action away from all the excitement. MGTOW crept up on the slowly, it didn’t hit them like a wall hits one’s SMV.
So, that’s today’s story, enjoy it. The prose is good, the message is strong. The red pills good.
Red pill sprinkles on top
Hey there. We chatted briefly on Patreon, and I had mentioned that my approach to the red pill was rather boring. You seemed interested nonetheless, so here it is. Again... loving the fact you lift us up instead of tearing down. It's great listening.
My journey to MGTOW wasn't a red pill. If anything, it was like eating breakfast with red sprinkles dusted on top. It started with the collapsing marriage. The marriage, itself, was built on a foundation of sand. My wife admitted she was settling for me, and at a cozy dinner while we were still dating, we had one of those, "Where do you see yourself in ten years?" sort of conversations. I mentioned my goals and dreams, which excited her, but when I asked her what her goals and dreams were, she shamefacedly admitted she had none and hoped to ride my coattails. That conversation, even to a horrible simp that I was back then, raised all sorts of red flags. Unfortunately, I thought we could work past that.
We dated for four years before marrying, breaking up and getting together again in the middle when she got bored and wanted to see other guys, then came back to me. I was so happy that it wasn't time wasted that I had taken her back. Yeah, I was extremely blue-pilled in those days. The wedding went well, my family are hardcore tradcons, as was hers, so we were lavished with all the praise newlyweds usually get. The first year or so went well. Then the "fun" wore off, and each year got progressively worse. The hardest part to relate is that we didn't fight. We argued here and there, but there was no fighting that you'd expect. It was just a placid lack of energy, an entropy of sorts that stole the life out of the relationship. At this time, we were both pretty heavy into online gaming, and my wife would find her emotional fulfillment there. After two kids and zero willpower, she had an overweight, rundown body and very low self-esteem. Being in online games allowed her to roleplay as whatever seductive beauty she wanted to appear as, and she enjoyed the attention female gamers get.
The lack of energy and general unhappiness continued. I had tried everything in our home life to instill in my wife a sense that she is loved, that she is worth something, and that she has a husband who cared about her. It may as well have fallen on deaf ears--only her online friends seemed to give her the affirmation she craved. When it was evident that she was finding justification to have an affair with one of these many men, I finally had enough and filed for divorce. In all honesty, the last three years of the marriage had seen us as little more than roommates that occasionally had sex. I finally had the decency to put the dead marriage to rest. After twelve years of marriage, I filed for divorce and, even then, hoped that maybe she would find a little happiness. I told her that if I couldn't do it for her, perhaps she would find someone who could.
There's not much to say about the divorce other than it was smoother than what most men suffer through. Since it was mutual and "amicable", no lawyers were involved. The kids were initially allowed to pick who they wanted to live with, but my ex reneged on that agreement when they both chose me. She didn't want any child support, but she reneged on that, as well, when her abysmal money management caught up with her. She promised not to weaponize the children or fill their heads with rants about me, but... well, you get the picture.
Meanwhile, life had given me a watershed moment. It really would not look like it, to an onlooker, but I saw it for what it was. With the divorce came new scenery as I moved into a new place, got a new job, and found myself going back to school like I had always wanted. I didn't live far from the old house, so my kids visited fairly often. It was chaotic, and for a time I had neither two pennies to rub together nor did I have more than three hours of sleep at night from working two jobs and going to school. However... I was content. More than that, I felt like I was in control of my own destiny for the first time in my life. It was a sublime feeling, something I had never felt before. Despite the chaos and hand-to-mouth living for those first few months, I realized that I had been given a true second chance at my life. How many men can claim such a thing?
But, what should I do with such a gift? At first, I just focused on stabilizing work and school life. Three months after that, things calmed down. I got more sleep at night, I could sock back money -- which diminished once the ex learned of this and filed for child support, and I started to find bits of free time with which to work on creative projects that kept my mind engaged. Things were looking up.
No tears here
No tears here. No sobbing, no anger, just occurrence, and that’s the MGTOW message that I’m bearing here. I’m not saying that if there was tears and anger that it’s not a message that I want to hear and share, but I’m just saying that there is more than one path to MGTOW and in this community, we don’t aim to be picketing and parading around. We aim to be placidly perusing our lives, as this MGTOW brother was illustrating.
I highlighted a number of things when I was going through this email, and I’ll re-read some of them right now and give a couple of comments:
- it was like eating breakfast with red sprinkles dusted on top
- my goals and dreams, which excited her
- I was so happy that it wasn't time wasted that I had taken her back
- Then the "fun" wore off
- It was just a placid lack of energy, an entropy of sorts that stole the life out of the relationship
- I finally had enough and filed for divorce. In all honesty, the last three years of the marriage had seen us as little more than roommates that occasionally had sex.
- However... I was content. More than that, I felt like I was in control of my own destiny for the first time in my life
Soap operas, you’ve done your job, apparently people’s lives aren’t busy enough and meaningful enough for “boredom”, for “consistency” for “contentment” to be okay...of course not, it has to be chaos, because the order of the day is a main course of chaos with a side of divorce and alimony.
The man wants to be the dog, resting in the sun chewing on a bone after a day of work, just chilling. The woman in this situation wants to be setting bottlerockets off on a hot July 4th evening at all times, then the dog just starts shuttering and wants to run away and get some rest.
This is a problem because the majority of life is a gloomy, windy 3:41 p.m. Sunday afternoon when you’re not sure what to do with your time. I mean, that’s the majority of what marriage is, and if that’s not the expectation, then that marriage is going to fail based on the fact that it was too “boring”.
Notice how things fit together like a puzzle piece often in these stories...slowly getting to know one another, there is some exciting over the prospects that you’ll have a future, the families are tradcons, expecting matrimonious futures, one person has different goals, and the freaking online gaming. I swear this online gaming thing is a tell-tale sign of relational entropy. Maybe for a later date and time. Regardless, he’s content now, life is slowing down and he’s realized that the red pills were sprinkled like a bit of sugar on some rice krispies, just making a nice soft crackle.
If you’ve got another story like this, hit me up at [email protected] or on Twitter @sunrisehoodie.
Hoodies up, hoodie is out.