My birthday, or what I did last year
When I was in my early teens, I remember promising myself that if I ever reached 40, that I would remember to listen to kids my age, because they have all the ideas, the open hearts and the imagination. I lived my life until then, doing my best to maintain that expectation of myself and become the adult I would want to have around as a 13 year old. At that age, I manifested some of my dreams; I played with my lifelong chums + Alex Lifeson of RUSH onstage. I released an album I spent almost a decade recording and perfecting and even projected it in a movie theater. I launched a new version of my website. I finished shooting my art documentary after 6 years of hard work. I hit some very challenging potholes along the road of life that made me work harder, learn faster, and not fuck around anymore. I planted seeds for a future version of myself, and I tried to lose a lot of the bullshit ideas I had collected along the way, and replace them with fresh eyes and a willingness to understand my blind spots. I read more. I played more. I loved more. I hurt more. I felt more alive than I had in years and I felt more challenged. This was living. I am glad for it. I feel like I got out of prison and am seeing blue skies for the first time in decades. I work as hard as my body and mind are able, every day. And though sometimes, that wears me out, I know that when I am on my death bed, I won't regret not having given it my all. The difference now is, I am learning how to make that effort count for more, and to take the quiet moments for all they are worth. I have learned that when you stop thinking, other parts of your mind get to work, ready to produce epiphanies. I cherish the people in my life. We are the ones on the roller coaster together, and whenever we get off, we will look at each other and say holy shit, we did that together and never forget it. Even if that moment of acknowledgement comes in another incarnation. It is so important to sometimes stop and go back and extract and extrapolate your beautiful memories. They are all locked in there, but it is so important to go back and savor all that raw material you made so much effort to collect in the first place. It is important to look at a flower and understand why it is so marvelous. To worship a bee. To respect a drop of water. To practice solitude and to practice harmony with others. It is important to not accept shit that is stuck and stale, and sometimes risk looking foolish or unpretty in an attempt for the truth. It is exhilarating to be grateful. Be grateful my dear friends. Be so very grateful you got to catch this train at all. Cheers, to having made it another year around the sun. And thank you, for pausing a moment to listen to me say it. Love you Keram
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