So it's been a hard week on the nanowrimo front. The problem with living in Michigan during this time of year is that the light, especially after the time change, is very limited. This leads to very bad depression for me (called Seasonal Affective Disorder), that I treat with a light system. My light works really well, but as I adjust at the beginning of the season, I often get hit so hard with depression, it's hard to even get out of bed, much less get that light on and working as much as it needs to for me to function.This week I have really fallen off of nanowrimo as a result, just getting up to get to work has been a challenge all by itself.
But the light is starting to normalize my system again, and I can feel my mind kicking back in. So tonight I did a lot of writing and finally hit that half way 25,000 word mark!
I am incredibly behind now, compared to where I should be. I have to write just over 3,000 words a day for the rest of the month to hit the 50,000 word mark. This is a bit upsetting for me, it really sucks that the cycle of depression hit me right when I was doing so good, and doing work that I am so in love with. Depression doesn't care what your goals are or what life you want to live.
But then I talked with family and they helped me to put things in a bit more perspective--I've written half a novel. Before this year, I doubt I ever even wrote 10,000 words of a novel.
I have written half a novel. After a lifetime of not doing it. This is a very big deal. And during that time, I managed to ride out a wave of depression--the same wave that usually drags me under and keeps me there.
I am proud. And I am going to keep going. I might not hit that 50,000 word count at the same time as everybody else. But I'm also not going to stop. How could I? When the world needs my novel so badly?
Thank you everybody for your support!!! It has helped SO much!