So, I noticed that I lost a few patrons with last week's post. Which really breaks my heart. So, let me ask, should I not do the live-streaming shows? I know that I was having some technical difficulties but I will sort them out in the upcoming shows. I figured that a couple hours of live-streaming entertainment would be worth the pledge you all have committed to me, but if not, please, let me know. I was working on recordings all last week, but I had two shows to prepare for, as well as band practice, not to mention getting this current Say It With A Bullet album into shape, as I want to have it ready for release by the end of this month. I was hoping to have all 10 songs ready before I gave you guys anything, as I know I have iterated on a bunch of these songs in the past, but, I have included them in this week's posting because, well, they're basically all of the recordings I've been working on. The other songs just aren't ready yet.
Okay, but please, allow me to wax poetic about losing patrons.
I think I might slowly be fading into emptiness. Patreon's not a very good way for me to interact with my friends and fans. I've had my most productive year yet, but I feel like the music is just falling on deaf ears. That the music is just being cast, yet again, into the abyss. I can't get the Grey's Anatomy people to listen to my new stuff. So the possibility of a big infusion of cash is not gonna happen. I can't seem to engage the fans. I'm terrible at self-promotion. My money is dwindling. My career is disappearing. My music goes unheard. And I feel paralyzed. What do I do? I've never done anything but make music and make it all the time. Produce, produce, produce and then, voila, good things have happened. But right now, I just don't see what could possibly save me from doom and ruination.
Okay, ha ha ha! So, that's basically all of my fears in a nutshell. But, aside from money, which is a short-term and easily fixed solution, and aside from the fact that it FEELS like I'm not engaging with the fans, there are all sorts of indicators that suggest otherwise. Such as, my streaming numbers are going up each month. The whole music business is now shifting over towards streaming songs, and my song-streams are climbing. That's a good sign. Also, because I'm producing so much new music, when people who stream my stuff like one song, there's a high likelihood that they will find others that they will enjoy. I will have about 12 albums out, maybe 13, by the end of the year. And I only had 7 going into 2014. That's a lot of available music for people to stream. Albums that maybe they might not have otherwise purchased but now can listen to for free via streaming. So, that's good.
The reason I wrote the above two paragraphs is I just wanted to give my patrons a look into what goes on in my brain. This is the fear and doubt that I have to deal with all the time. The balance of reasoning and irrational fear. And when I lose patrons, it feels like I'm failing. Like it's just another reminder that my music is fun but kitschy at best and mediocre to boring at worst. But hell, they could have left for any reason. Maybe they lost their jobs. Maybe their credit-cards were compromised and they haven't installed the new one yet. I mean, it might have nothing to do with me. Or maybe it does. Maybe they feel cheated that I didn't provide new songs last week. But if so, I have to let it go. And just keep on doing what I do. Til the wheels fall off. Til the the engine explodes, the paint cooks away, and I arrive wherever I'm going, in a fiery, burning chassis of love, doubt, fear, and, ugh of all ughs, hope.
Anyway, I wrote all this to let you know that when I don't have a lot to give you in a given week, it's not that I'm not doing anything. I am. I'm always working on music. And I'm trying to figure out the best way to give you an insider's perspective on what I'm doing and how it gets done. I really do love all the support you guys give me and have continued to give me. Without you, frankly, and without Patreon, I think I might've, well, nevermind what might have happened. But, see, I can't stand Facebook. And Facebook definitely seems to be throttling my messages and announcements. MySpace is dead. And I just don't have the time or wherewithal to go seeking other avenues of social engagement. And I'm certainly not ever gonna use ads. Ewww. So, it's you guys, my patrons, that fuel my engine. Thank you so much. I love you all. I will try to do better. I will try to give you more songs. Better songs. All the time.
With 3000 megatons of my love and admiration exploding on your faces,
Here's the link to the Say It With A Bullet album as it now stands...
(please note, this link will terminate in two weeks, so please download the music before two weeks from today's date. Love you!)