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O How They Suffer

This one is a collaboration between myself, Kevin Moore, Glenn Greenwald, and Joe Rogan. 

I mean, Greenwald and Rogan didn't volunteer to collaborate, and I'm sure not gonna pay them for their contributions. But panel one's dialog is a barely-edited quote from Glenn Greenwald. And panel two's dialog is a barely-edited quote from Joe Rogan - including Rogan saying that he's not joking.

Kevin provided the artwork, and I'm so glad I asked him. I don't really love doing caricatures, but Kevin does. And Joe Rogan's expression in panel 4 is something I've been looking at over and over since Kevin turned the art in - it's hilarious.

This is much more current-events-y than my cartoons usually are, but I couldn't resist. Both these quotes - especially coming from two of the most ridiculously overpaid white men in the world - are too perfect to not be a cartoon. Truly, there is no end to the victimhood whining from these unbelievably wealthy delicate white male flowers.

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Normally I post cartoons on Patreon weeks, or months, before I post them in public. In this case, I'm posting it in public today, because I want to get this out there while at least some people remember Greenwald and Rogan saying these ridiculous things. 

As always, thanks so much for supporting this Patreon. You're making it possible for these cartoons to exist - and making it possible for me to pay amazing collaborators like Kevin Moore.

I honestly worry that if I say every time I post here how grateful I am for the support, and how mind-blowing it is to me that y'all support my work like this, patrons are going to start rolling their eyes and saying "oh god not this again." So I'll try to keep it in check. But really - wow. It's amazing.

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TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels are set in a sound recording studio, where Glenn Greenwald - a white man with neatly-combed hair, strong eyebrows, and wearing a suit - is talking to Joe Rogan - a white man with a shaved head, a furrowed brow, and dressed casually in a hoodie over a tee shirt. Rogan is wearing professional-looking headphones. There's a double microphone on the table between them. In the background we can see a window to another room, a bulletin board, and a painting of an American flag.

PANEL 1

Glenn and Joe are talking. Glenn, looking a bit peeved, is poking a forefinger up as he makes a point. Joe looks a little stoned.

GLENN: Joe, the minute you declare yourself "non-binary" or "trans," you kind of catapult up the ladder. But if you're a cis white gay man, you're now at the bottom of the hierarchy!

JOE: Right! We live in crazy fucking times, Glenn.

PANEL 2

A close-up of Joe, who is speaking seriously. Someone off-panel sticks a hand into the panel, holding two envelopes, marked "Glenn" and "Joe." Joe holds up a finger in a "hold on a sec" gesture.

JOE: Eventually, straight white men won't be allowed to talk! Or be allowed to go outside! I'm not joking!

JOE: Hold on just a second.

PANEL 3

A close-up of two hands - presumably, Glenn's and Joe's - holding checks. One check is for $1,000,000 from Substack for Glenn Greenwald, with the memo line "For: Subscription Earnings." The other check is for $100 Million, from Spotify to Joe Rogan, with the memo line "For: Podcasting."

PANEL 4

A shot of Glenn and Joe. Glenn looks pleased but also cool and collected as he puts his check into his inner jacket pocket. Joe looks very happy and kind of awed, and frankly probably still stoned, as he puts his check into his wallet.

GLENN: As I was saying, the bottom of the hierarchy.

JOE: When will white dudes ever catch a break?

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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 25 exclusive posts
25
Images
9
Writings