I will not die from this, but my body is slowly deteriorating. After years, I’m finally a few months away from seeing a specialist who can either give me the diagnosis and the supportive care I need, or set me back at zero without an answer. I’m caught in this agonizing limbo as I continue to get worse. I used to want to die so badly; now I’m ferociously fighting for all the quality of life I can get. I’m so tired of fighting, but I can’t rest yet, and I'm afraid I'll be fighting forever.