OUR ALLITERATIVE SELVES

I wrote this poem years ago about a college friend who, in my life, had disappeared. I tried to find him, looked him up online, nothing. Until, a few months after I read this at my first poetry reading, a mutual friend messaged me that Matt had died, shot, not too far from where, apparently, we both now lived, in the Pacific Northwest. The poem is still in process, as much art and writing are....

It started as some words and a rhythm in my head, and it continued as a practice in alliteration. A lot of people say not to use alliteration; it's overused. I say, fuck 'em. Who cares. Maybe it is overused. But that doesn't mean to not use it. It means the people who don't know how to use it, and overuse it, stop.

For me, I'll keep going.


Me and Matt Mabry, Matt Mabry and me, made

what-ifs of Walt Whitman, and whatchamacallthese.

We wrote writs and wagged wits and waged wars.

Today, to this day, it’s too tough to think of

him. How is he, His happenings. How happy is he?

He’s hung his hat and hardened his heart

for the fun of it. For fear, from _______, to be free.

Possibly he’s playing the piano, pounding at the porcelain

keys. Kicking the Kabbala. Killing. In Kosovo?

Could be crying. Could be cringing. Catch me

looking. Leering into layers of the labyrinth.

Losing life. Living loss. Loving lesbians.

Sweetly spinning, sickeningly spiraling, swapping

revolutions. Ready to resolve what’s ripping us.

Reaping what’s been retched by Republicans.

Democracy’s dying, and dear darlings

gnashing and gnarring. Getting gnarled in the

great giant city of Gaddafi’s.

Matt Mabry, Matt Mabry, what do you make of me?

All these annals after, I’m asking about

you. Yearning the yearner. Yet you’ll

never know how I’m needlessly kneading my knuckles,

forgetting I’m forgotten—fact or fiction?—

formidably forgiving my foes.

Me and Matt Mabry, Matt Mabry and me, made

holes in the hollows, and halves out of the holes.

Have you had your humility? How have you

been?


...


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By becoming a patron, you'll instantly unlock access to 7 exclusive posts
1
Audio release
2
Images
5
Writings