Anyways, Overwatch's loot boxes make me unreasonably angry and stressed and I bought $20's worth of them and just got absolute garbage anyways so I just need to make it impossible for me to buy loot boxes again possibly with parental controls with a password generated by banging on the keyboard.
Trash Box Opening (0:00)
Play of the Game (5:22) - Ilios (Mystery Heroes) - McCree
--------- If I had gone left instead of right, I might have gotten Lúcio with Dead Eye as well and avoided that absolute travesty of McCree gameplay.
Play of the Game (5:48) - Ilios (Mystery Heroes) - D.Va
--------- NOBODY knew what happened with this. Absolute nothing of note happens besides Lúcio "nope"-ing off to the right to his death.
Play of the Game (6:13) - Dorado (Mystery Heroes) - Hanzo
--------- Behold! as trash!Hanzo steals all the glory with the Ult.
Highlight (6:37) - King's Row (Mystery Heroes) - Reaper
--------- Watch as my jittery and fearful movements result in a team kill and also my death (I was Resurrected shortly after).
Play of the Game (7:01) - Eichenwald (Mystery Heroes) - Junkrat
--------- Panic!hopping is the name of the game here. I'm not sure why this is Play of the Game, but whatever.
Highlight (7:26) - Hollywood (Mystery Heroes) - Tracer
--------- I included this, not because it's particularly good (goodness knows I'm trash with Tracer and especially her bombs), but because I didn't die this entire match. There was just a permanent trash!Tracer harassing the enemy team and I was the trash.
Play of the Game (7:50) - Dorado (Mystery Heroes) - Pharah
--------- You know it's Mystery Heroes when it's Pharah because I am the worst Pharah in the world. Watch as McCree goes off the cliff because of the concussion blast!
Highlight (8:15) - Dorado (Mystery Heroes) - Ana
--------- In a completely unplanned bit of Ultimate synergy, I, the most distressing grandma, Nano Boost Zarya as she fires her Graviton Surge, helping her win Play of the Game for that match.