Tier Benefits
Pledge $0 or more per month
patrons
Everyone
Pledge $0.01 or more per month
patrons
Patrons Only
Pledge $1 or more per month
226 patrons
RESPECT AND GRATITUDE. You could have spent it on one chocolate cherry at the 7-Eleven, but instead you made the choice for cultural commentary. Every little bit helps keep this operation afloat. Thank you.
Pledge $3 or more per month
150 patrons
A SALUTE. Could have got yourself a cup of coffee, but instead you bought your blogger a cup. Well, that’s goshdarn nice of you. I hoist the cup in appreciation.
Pledge $5 or more per month
212 patrons
A PRAYER! I go from my desk across the office to the little shrine set up to honor Ganesh, the lord of good fortune. The elephant-headed, four-armed fellow also removes obstacles in one’s path — for instance, the unpaid heating bill. I ignite a stick of incense in your honor!
Pledge $10 or more per month
98 patrons
I BLINK IN AWE. There are really readers out there so kind and generous? You cause me to readjust my prior views about human nature. I send up bottle rockets in your honor and volunteer for your congressional campaign.
Pledge $25 or more per month
33 patrons
SOMEONE PLEASE PICK ME UP OFF THE FLOOR. At the end of the year, you will receive a free Long Emergency logo mug and a Clusterfuck Nation T-shirt featuring the print of my famous McDonald's painting from the new swag products line we will be putting online soon. Many thanks and praises upon you.
Pledge $50 or more per month
7 patrons
WAKE ME UP NOW. Can it be so? At the end of each year, you get the aforementioned free swag items, I include you in my bedtime prayers for the year, and I send a signed certified letter of recommendation to any school or enterprise you apply to be a part of.
Pledge $75 or more per month
0 patrons
OKAY, STOP THE IV ANALGESIC SEDATIVE DRIP. I am so delirious I take you on vacation with me and I do all the driving! Well, you might not really want that. Instead, at the end of the year you can select an original framed JHK oil painting and I will send it to your house or office. Plus the mug and the T-shirt.
Pledge $100 or more per month
5 patrons
SINCE WHEN IS WARREN BUFFETT READING CLUSTERFUCK NATION? At the end of each year, you get the aforementioned mug and T-shirt, your pick of an original framed JHK oil painting, and if you are anywhere near where I live, you can come over for a nice dinner where we can talk investment strategies for the Long Emergency.
Recent Posts