The Patreon logo at 1920x1080 and sans text! As an added bonus, here's the text from the newspaper article: Gods of Curling Vanquished! ‘It was pretty darn weird’ says local resident. The Gods of Curling, AKA “the big mean jerks who ruined EGS:NP forever”, have been vanquished. This is the result of a bunch of angry bunnies chasing them off with torches and pitchforks. “Was nothing like I’d ever seen,” says Tensaided, a local man. “I’d heard tales of deadly bunnies with big pointy teeth, but I thought them just a myth. Never did I think they would chase of a bunch of sentient curling dealies. Seriously, I did not see that coming.” An official statement was released by the FBI attributing the incident to “a whole bunch of swamp gas”. Clarification as to how swamp gas could possibly be a viable explanation for this was not provided, creating a field day for conspiracy theorists. “It’s a fantastic day for conspiracies,” reported Charlotte, a woman who uses the internet for stuff. “My personal favorite theory is that some weird guy made a Patreon campaign for EGS:NP and some people actually funded it.” Another popular theory is that a curse has been unleashed upon the cit of Moperville by a demon by the name of “Imademon”. Why this theory is popular is currently unknown, as it is clearly bonkers. Nonetheless, we will be devoting the next few dozen pages to covering this theory and interview local yahoos until we can find no more.