I haven't been writing much lately, and I'm kind of been thinking about why. I could blame it on depression, because it's been hitting hard lately. I could blame it on the weather, because while I love the heat, it makes me want to just curl up in the sun. I could even blame it on work, because it's been busy.
But it's not just that. It's all of that, of course, because it's never just one thing. It's everything. The big thing, though, is that I'm scared.
I'm scared I won't be able to follow through with the promises I make. That I won't be able to deliver. That I'll let people down again.
I'm at an Herbalife training today, because I thought it would be interesting. I love the product (no, I'm not going to be a consultant, that's not me), and I thought it would be good information for my day job. And it is, but it for another reason.
One of the things that they said was "Your past does not determine your future." In the past, I would start something, and then the fear would come out, and I'd back off and not do any more, because it wouldn't succeed anyways. But that's the past.
I am a writer. I write stories to share with people. And that's what I intend to do.