So not only did Louisa close on the second draft of her newest book, this past week featured three posts on PNW, and I think it's starting to get a little meta!
Anyway, In "Towards Integration: How to Build Amazing Monkeyspheres" I first explain what a Monkeysphere is and then apply it to the polyamorous community. Many people have a rather narrow group of people that they seem to be able to care about. And in the poly community, the more lovers they end up having, the less they seem to care about what's going on with the rest of the world. I'd like to see that change. Right now the poly community is floating around in a sort of disconnected bubble and there is no integration or intersection to be seen.
To further develop on that idea, I then pick on the notion of selflessness versus selfishness in the poly community in "Revealing the Hidden Truth Beneath the Selfless Lie". I explain that the simple and humanizing lessons many people learn from opening their relationships are not the exclusive purview of non-monogamy. These revelations aren't inherent to polyamory and as long as people think they are they'll never be able to get to the actual work or possibilities of polyamory. The poly community focusing on things like dismantling harmful beliefs carried over from amatonormative culture distracts them from so many other issues that we could be helping out with. And though it's called "ethical non-monogamy" it really hasn't even begun to scratch the surface.
Lastly, I took on the recent round of silence-bashing to point out that some people are naturally quieter and less socially dependent (ie: introverts, solo polys, autistic people, trauma survivors) in "Clarify Your Silence In the Name of Love". Sometimes silence means you're not listening. Sometimes it means we need space. Sometimes we're simply glowing. Other times we're overwhelmed. There are so many different reasons people go silent. I seek to bring people together by asking the quieter to speak up about why they're silent and for the more extroverted or impatient partner to respect the others' space and not jump to conclusions. It's not always the end of the world.
And speaking of which, while my family is returning once more to Cinci, I'm not depressed. Because I know they're coming back and that we can only take off from here. If I must be on my own then I'll own it, just as I have all my life. In the meantime, I'm working on some very cool projects that I'll be mentioning soon in some posts, such as the Queer Relationships Project, Poly Role Models, and a wicked idea for a virtual reality experience.
Exciting stuff. Tune in next week to see the fascinating topics we'll be covering. You'll be seeing a guest post from one other person who understands how important intersectionality is. Oh joy!
Love and Light,
Michon & Louisa