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Pumpkin Spice Illuminatte
Here's the all-original, no jack moves version of my weirdly popular joke track from 2012!  It's pretty much the most popular song I've ever released?  So I wanted to make a version that was high quality, and didn't rely as much on blatant, outright intellectual property infringement.

Seattle rapper/producer/impresario Spekulation has been my facebook friend for maybe a year, and I feel like we see eye-to-eye on a lot of things. What I didn't know when I started being robot friends with him is that he had a spell of heady web-based fame under the nom-de-plume "The Bitter Barista," during which he skewered the same sort of entitled, rich, unpleasant, foolist specialty coffee customers that were making my life less delicious half a continent away.  My coworkers all used to share his blog posts!  It's weird, in retrospect, that I wound up getting a chance to work with him!

But he also made EXACTLY THE RIGHT KIND OF BEATS.  I knew he'd be perfect, and I was so glad when he responded enthusiastically to my proposal just a few weeks ago.

So here we are.  Pumpkin Spice still tastes like sludge and you still can't spit out a mouthful of it without hitting some new product that bears its questionable aroma.  Pumpkin Spice safety razors.  Pumpkin Spice children's bicycle helmet. Pumpkin Spice funeral home.