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Razzle Dazzle
I thought of about four different punchlines for this joke, and I think ended up picking the weirdest one because I finished at about 3:30AM

Alternate Ending 1: "Fortunately, nothing else about your appearance stands out in any way."

Alternate Ending 2: Sparky is wearing a Ghillie Suit in the background, completely unnoticed.

Alternate Ending 3: But unfortunately, the hair and make-up also makes Lain invisible to the rest of the office.