We can only use the problem-solving tools we've got, which is why it's best to have a wide selection instead of just one. Those with only a hammer try to solve everything by beating it to death (not an ideal solution in circumstances that call for a gentle touch), but those with only a white glove are equally ill-equipped in situations that call for some elbow grease. So how many tools do you have in your belt? Can you be gentle yet assertive without being aggressive? Loving, kind, and compassionate but never hateful? Because as Maya Angelou said, "Hate has caused many problems in the world, but hasn't solved one yet." Learn the tools of nonviolent communication for some situations, and quiet contemplation for others. Gasoline is great for starting a fire, but terrible at putting it out. Namaste.