Rufus Stalinovsky, AKA Red Menace
History Rufus is an over-the-top communist who blames Amerika for all of Mother Russia's woes; he teaches history from a highly 'opinionated' point of view. Whenever the children (mainly Major Midas' son) question why his version of history does not match their textbooks, he launches into a tirade about how ugly capitalist dogs printed those terrible manifestos and that they should all be burned in the center of the football field. His classroom is always freezing. In between classes, Rufus trades vodka and sorrow with Marc Animus in the Teacher's Lounge. No current love interest - "If I wanted a woman, I would mail-order one." Rumored to be a vampire; desk doubles as a sarcophagus.