Selfishness is a Valid Response to Entitlement and Boundary Crossing
 
Pretty much what it says on the box:

http://the-orbit.net/brutereason/2016/08/16/selfishness-valid-response-entitlement-boundary-crossing/

"Watching the argument unfold, I couldn’t help but remember myself in
some of my past relationships. Only I wasn’t being asked to lend a phone
 or fetch something from the kitchen; I was being asked for emotional labor,
 for support, for validation, for “can you just remind me again that you
 really do like me,” for “can you please explain to me again why you’re
not interested in [sex thing] because I mean it’s fine that you don’t
want to do it but I just want to understand.”

At first, I gladly
provided what was asked for, even though, if I were really honest with
myself, I’d admit that I didn’t always like the way the requests were
made. But over time, the quantity of emotional labor expected was just
too high, and–more importantly–I felt that my partner felt
entitled to it. Although they would never be so obvious about that
entitlement as my younger brother was in his–they’re much too
well-versed in feminism for that–in other ways, subtle ways, they made
it clear that they considered that labor to be my obligation as a
partner and that if I couldn’t or wouldn’t provide it, I was doing
something wrong.

Once I realized that my partners thought that it was my job
 to do emotional labor for them, I started rapidly losing the desire to
do it. I started saying no more often, although I was never as blunt
about it as my sister is. I would say, “I’m sorry, I’m not in a good
place to listen right now.” (True.) I would say, “We’ve already talked
about how you feel like I don’t really like you and you’re not good
enough for me, and I don’t think there’s anything else I can do to make
you feel otherwise.” (I didn’t add that they were well on their way to
turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy, though.) I would say, “I
already explained that to you. If that explanation didn’t suffice,
another one won’t help.”

Even now, even to myself, I sound selfish
 and cold. But so does my sister, out of context. Neither of us is
selfish or cold. What we are is exhausted. What we are is tired
 of being unable to set any boundaries. What we are is totally done
doing things for people who have never, ever asked us what we need."