Something to make you laugh.
 There's much women don't know about men. We have secrets. Dark secrets… what? No, I've got an alibi.   Men don't like sports. Really, it's true. Many years ago a small geeky writer type guy told the larger men they would be wussies if they didn't line up and charge each other. And since then no one wants to be the wussy who says it's not fun to be a tackled. Oddly, the writer type spent his time talking to the women on the sidelines.  Also note that sporting events are often scheduled on major holidays ie: when your family is there.   The reason men pass gas before waking is to give women warning that the king will be needing his coffee soon. We want to save women the shame of not having it ready. You're welcome. The answer to ANY question before we meet the bottom of our first cup of coffee is ”Leave me alone.” It doesn't matter what the question is.   Men do not care about the environment. Male hippies are a myth. But men treat women like kids treat Santa. We will believe anything you say if it gets us a “present”. You prattle on about the environment and crystals or whatever. We sit there thinking “She better be good in bed. Or I'm shaving and buying a REAL car.”  We hate your pets. The yapping little dog or the cat that gets hair all over us before going out. We don't think they are cute. And it creeps us out when you talk in that little kids voice to them. We also suspect that it creeps out the pet too. Men often sit around discussing how we would like to cook the annoying little feces machines.  We REALLY REALLY don't care about your hair. Color it, curl it, shave it, we don't care. As long as your vagina doesn't fall off as you do whatever, we are good. This also goes for your clothing. In all honesty, we want you to wear pants that makes your butt look big. It cuts down on competition.    When you ask what we want for dinner and we say that we don't care; we mean it. When you ask us what we want it means that you're taking care of dinner. So we don't have to decide. We are just happy we are not grabbing a spear and chasing down a brontosaurus. We wonder why you are asking us “fish or chicken?” If we already told you we don't care. Either one would make us happy as long as we don't have to leave the couch.   Now, I'm going to leave you with these thoughts and I hope it clears up any problems or questions.