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Song for Week 1 - "Willing"
This is my new personal anthem. I've had the idea for this song for years, but it's taken this long to embrace willingness in a meaningful way. "Willing" is semi-autobiographical. The first verse is certainly true, and the second is an imagined scene that could be very real. An intimate friend "corners" me after a long period of bottled up emotions. They confront me with the truth that I don't change because I'm unwilling to be with uncomfortable feelings. Being willing to begin--to step out of the comfort I'm used to, to be wrong about what I've held dearly true for so long--is the essence of power through vulnerability to me. Starting this venture is scary because I don't know if I'll succeed, and I'm going to let all of you see me in whatever success or failure I walk into. I'm afraid people will judge me as too ambitious, or entitled, or privileged (the list goes on).  And I believe, as I have all my life, that I have something important to share--perhaps crucial. So now I embrace that I am a fool on a hero's journey, and by embracing my unknowing I fall backward into progress, if you can dig it. 


Lyrics:

I've been a guard I've been a stone 

I've been an island on my own

I've been a sheep I've been asleep 

Just out there swallowing what I'm thrown

I never doubted anything just kept on dancing in a dream

I've been a careless, fleeing fool. I've broken my most sacred rules


I've been alone but I'm willing

I've been a stone but I'm willing now

I've shut my eyes and my ears

and listened only to my fears

I broke apart and the only thing here is willing.


I felt assured I felt aware

I knew just what it meant to care

and then when everything came down

I knew how right I was somehow

I never saw your shaking hands

so I was shaken when you took your stand

You cornered me by asking why

I couldn't even want to try


I'm trying now cause I'm willing, I'm willing

I'm crying out that I'm willing now

I've shut my eyes and my ears

and listened only to my fears

I broke apart and the only thing here is willing.


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