I feel like I spent my first 20 years of life chasing pleasure,
and the next twenty years avoiding suffering.

There was more to it than this, and I look back at the child I was in wonder and gratitude, but there is a lot of truth to this and it is no way to live.

Death takes us all. Sickness finds us all. What matters is your concern for others, and your dedication to the whole... to the earth, to your spirit, to the universe. Courage and acceptance are capable of breaking the cycle.

So I am ok to be here, buried in fear, but tickled with the first genuine and healthy pride I've ever felt in my life.

No longer a victim, no longer a monster, no longer hiding from monsters. With this knowledge, I can face death and anything else with a smile and sense of accomplishment. Pain and pleasure are temporary, but the treasure house of all Buddhas and Heroes will exist forever, even If only of the minds of AIs, Aliens, or higher beings. Civilization and communication created it. Memory worshiped it. This house heals beings, hospital white hot.

We should feel joy at its creation, a job well done. I dip my shattered beak and drink deeply, unconcerned with how my stomach will feel. Then I shall sing until I die. HAPPY.