TFFO by Steven Hanssen TM Chapter 3: Lalumier Du Four, The Family Don
 
  A story by Steven Hanssen

Lalumier, was the Don of the family because he was the oldest son, of the oldest son, of the oldest son of somebody important in the family. This translated into three key matters;

1) He was the puppet head of the family 

2) Luigi Luigi was the real mastermind in the family 

3) Lalumier was not smart, so his wife had to stop at the mall prior to him returning 

An officer once tapped a phone call between Lalumier and his oldest son Joe. The officer needed to a psychiatric assessment to help stop from a laughing spurt that started after one part of the conversation. The tape mysteriously disappeared, but fortunately we payed him off for a copy of the transcript.

Lalumier, “ Joe, what’s going on, Schmoly tells me your telling clients some crazy stuff.” 

Joe, “Yea, all this time I had been telling our clients that smoking pot was not addictive…”

Lalumier, “That’s what you’re supposed to say!”

Joe, “But, I just learned it wasn’t true, from the Surgeon Director of Canada.”

Lalumier, “ So, what are you telling them now.” 

Joe, “That Pot can be addictive and should be smoked responsibly. Don’t forget we need candour in business.” 

Lalumier, “How many people did you tell this to.” 

Joe, “Everyone, I posted it on Facebook. We need to keep our clients safe and healthy long term customers.” 

We will never know what was said after this point as the agent had broken into hysterical laughter and the tape had disappeared. 

Lalumier’s second son, was the general counsel for the Union. He had worked hard getting through law school. So he was glad when he realized his life would be rather comfortable. In five years, he wrote four books. Not even one written on his own time. 

Lalumier, had six other children. However, there isn’t enough resources to provide an assessment of each child. The agent reviewing this text, thought it important to note that the rest of the kids where rather homogenous. Except for child number 5, that had different eye colour, skin tone, hair colour, and facial features from the rest. They explained it as being genes from Mom’s great grandfather, Mr. Skeletons. 

There were a large and simple family that ate together and stayed together.