This week was horrible, sorry that there is no update this week.
Don't worry too much, I will continue updating next week for sure. It's just that I got figuratively thrown under the bus by the government agency that I get my money to survive from, and I am still astonished at their level of incompetence.

First of all, they do know I have some mental issues that prevent me from being able to work like a normal person does. They have a dedicated psychologist that they did send me to, to find the issue that I am having, so far so good.

But when it finally came to talking with that person, I was just flooded with absurd claims and impossible diagnoses, that they "based" on what I told them about me, what was the following:

That I am mostly incapable of having any positive feelings since as far as I can remember back (probably since birth), that I am not capable of controlling where my attention goes, and that I do not have the desire to leave the house and talk to real people or any desires in general apart from spontaneously trying to solve all problems around me. Essentially that I am pretty much apathic, and am perfectly fine as long as no bad stuff happens to me.

Guess what their diagnose was, no it wasnt ADD, it wasn't any sort of apathy either, nor any antisocial personality disorders, and not really depression either despite them mentioning that last one for a brief moment.

No, their diagnose was, I have a non-substance-based addiction (because sitting at the computer all day, since there is nothing else to do at all), recommending that I should go into some specialised closed institution as soon as possible, to fix said addiction.

And it wasn't conveyed like a recommendation either, that person tried to convince my Mom very aggressively to actually put me in one (despite her technically not having the power to do that, since I am 26, also she didnt fall for that, so that's fine).

In that talk were also other solutions (that they suggested!), like some workshop where I could have "learned what the right job for me is, without having to change where I live" (that would have been okay for me, even though I know it would have been a waste of time).

When I mentioned that their workshop solution might be a good idea, they instantly tried to ignore me, pushing even more for "their better solution" that was based on the addiction bullshit above.

I just cant believe that this kind of incompetent, intolerant and prejudging people is even allowed to become a psychologist, since if one of them does something wrong, it has a 100% chance of ruining Lives.

It was possible to see the hatred for "anyone who isnt like a normal person" in that psychologist, and I will never go to meet that person ever again, even if they deny parts of my "income" because of me refusing to do so. 

I would have rather had a talk with a serial killer in a non-public location, who could end up targeting me, than talking to that vastly incompetent "psychologist".

This really destroyed any trust I had in the field of psychology, because this is the second one that behaved like human garbage towards me.

Needless to say, I am still thinking a bit about what happened there two days ago, and it really ruined any focus I had before. Luckily I tend to not think about those terrible things for too long, so there will be an update next week.

And it is gonna be the compat update I wanted to actually do this week, so I guess I need to re-adjust some things, otherwise there might only be one content update left for this year. There will be a way, I just dont know what way yet, but I will find it! ;)

Again sorry that there is no update this week. I hope you have a nice week before the Holidays. ^^

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