Two Years a Phantom

It's been almost exactly two years now. I never thought I'd be gone for so long, or fathomed the twists and turns in life that would keep pulling me away. I wish I could say the time has flown, but it hasn't really. It's been a long and difficult two years. Some things have changed drastically, while other things have stayed more or less the same.

In the time that's passed, so much has happened...I won't go into detail on everything (maybe at some point later I will), but one of them was joining up with a small video game start-up company that was working on a really ambitious and promising project. However, that project was unsuccessful, so we refocused on a project that was equally promising but slightly less ambitions for such a small team, and in the transition I started picking up even more of a design role. We've started a Patreon for that as well, and are giving it almost everything we can (I'd be amiss if I didn't throw a plug here, so you can find that Patreon campaign at! 

Now I have a confession to make. I've been delaying this for a long time. I haven't wanted to type this, because I didn't want to admit it, or accept it. It's long overdue, and I apologize for that, but here it is:

When I started this Patreon page, I didn't think I knew everything, but I thought I knew enough. I had no idea how much I didn't know...about the process, about marketing, branding, business orientated concepts. About driving and holding interest, and generating consistent content. I guess I didn't realize how hard it all was. More than that, I didn't realize how little I understood my own vision: where did I want to go with this? What did I want it to look like? What was my goal? I couldn't answer those questions, not then. I had a vague notion, but it was only a few faint and tangled wisps of a dream, and I was clueless about how to implement them in actuality.

So as I sunk further and further into the responsibilities of game/quest design and writing, and as workloads piled up, and deadlines kept coming in waves, one after the other, my stories started collecting more and more dust. I'd work when I could, and I by no means abandoned them, but consistent progress ground to a halt, and I stopped talking and posting about them. It seemed to me that updates of any sort would be a hindrance to the actual writing of the story. I never stopped writing, but I felt that actually writing with the limited time that I had was better then using that time to post about my subsequent lack of progress. So I ended up kind of dropping off the grid.

I'm not going to lie, there were times when I did think about just abandoning it all. I contemplated leaving it in the dark and shadowy corners where it all resided, and resigning it to the cobwebs that had enveloped it. I thought about giving up, and accepting this as just another failure.

But I'm not, and I'm going to try this again!

These past two years have been an intense growing period for me. I've been stretched to the point of breaking again and again. I've seen so much, experienced so much, and been burdened with so much. My vision has crystallized under the pressure, and it's showed me that no matter where I am or what I've involved in creatively, I need a place where I can write freely about the things I'm going through. Writing helps me process both external and internal conflicts and struggles; it gives me an outlet, and I need that! These stories will continue to carry my burdens, my questions and my deeply personal musings. This will be my vault.

I wanted to delay writing this, because as soon as I posted it I knew I'd have to stick by it. But this is a reminder to me that this needs to be one of those commitments. I can't do without it.

There are going to be some changes happening here. I'm going to be editing and improving this page's info and pledge tier sections, and I'm going to start treating this more as a blog/behind the scenes glimpse at my creative process and what's going on. I may post some early chapters and other sneak peaks for feedback. Progress will still likely be slow, but I'll try to be more communicative about the process.

Thanks for your continued support and patience! There's a lot of work yet to do, but it's good to be back!